Friday, December 30, 2016

Cute kids with cousins

We drove to see James and Sadie and family today. The kids were both really excited to see their cousins.

It's fun to see Arilyn and Cambria play, they are getting old enough that pretend play is alive and well, it's fun to see then imagine together.

Corbin at one point had given Arilyn a bear hug from the back and was following her around, just kind of attached. It was cute.

Cute kids

Cambria was imagining today in the car as we drove to another children's museum. I overheard her say "'the Lord commanded Nephi to go get the plates from you Laban' and her response was in a deep voice 'oh, He did? Ok here, you can have them, then.'" Haha

Corbin painted for the first time with paint brushes on an easel today. At one point he had a paint brush in each hand. It's so fun to see him discover. He also was playing in the sand box with some toys and stacked two toys that spun a wheel when you dumped sand on them. He made a double Decker, essentially. He was pretty excited when he saw two reactions from one action. "Ooh!"

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Cute kids - swimming

We are in Missouri visiting since friends today. We went swimming. Candida is a little fish! She LOVES swimming! It was so fun to see her do so well, and have so much fun.

Corbin is pretty easy-going, but he really gets nervous in the pool. He doesn't like it. It's good to see some things that he doesn't love, because he likes most things, or at least goes with the flow.

New gift, New 365

I have been thinking about what I could give the Savior this year for Christmas. I feel like it would be good to focus on cute/happy/positive things my kids do. So I'm going to post a lot more about them

Monday, December 26, 2016

365 gratitude day 348 (maybe my last day)

I'm grateful that I was able to find someone to watch the kids last minute so that Jonathan and I could go suit shopping.

I'm grateful for the graduation gift that my in-laws gave us, so we could purchase the suit.

I'm grateful that we found a suit that Jonathan feels really good in, and oh, by the way... he looks really good in it too. I'm grateful that we both equally like it (just like with most things when it comes to his fashion, we didn't agree, but all disagreements faded when he put this suit on).

Sunday, December 25, 2016

365 gratitude day 347

(I've skipped a lot of days this week. I've thought of something each day, I just haven't taken the time to write)

I'm so grateful for Christmas! I'm grateful that I had such a good day! I didn't feel homesick, and I really enjoyed spending the whole day watching my kids unwrap presents. I loved talking to so many members of my family, I have the best family.
I'm grateful that I was able to sing a solo at church today, and especially that my neighbors came!
I'm so so grateful for the Savior. I'm grateful that we have this time of year to focus on Him.
I have so much to be grateful for today.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

365 gratitude day 342

I'm grateful that I had a social event to go to tonight. Jonathan unexpectedly had to work till 7:30 today. It was really nice to not have to worry about dinner, it was a place where the kids could just play, and I didn't have to worry about them either. It was a good night to be on my own parenting-wise.

Monday, December 19, 2016

365 gratitude day 341

I'm grateful for moments when I truly enjoy my kids. Corbin asked Jonathan to bend down, then he whispered jibberish in his ear. It was so cute! Then Jonathan whispered in his ear "I'm going to eat you" then pretended to take a bite. After a few times, Corbin whispered then pretended to take a bite. Haha! He is so funny!

Cambria is so observant, and the things that come out of her mouth shock me. She's funny too.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

365 gratitude day 340

I'm grateful for the Spirit. Church was cancelled because of the ice and Jonathan suggested we "play church" with the kids. I was a little sceptical, I didn't want to make light of something sacred, but he presented it in a way that the kids were on board, and we were able to have a spiritual experience.

We had a little testimony meeting, and Cambria bore her first testimony! The Spirit was so strong, and it was so sweet!

365 gratitude day 339

I'm grateful that Jonathan took the time to do something fun with us today. We went to an almost 100 year old candy shop. They had an activity where you could mold candy canes. It was fun to get out. I know it would have been easy and reasonable for Jonathan to say he needed to work, but he didn't. I'm glad we had a good day today.

365 gratitude day 338

I'm grateful for our safety tonight. We went to the temple and on the way home it started raining. But it was 29 degrees, so it immediately froze. The roads were horrible I'm every sense of the word. We skid several times, but never got out of control. I'm grateful for that.

365 gratitude day 337

I'm grateful that Amy Weaver hosts music night. It's such a fun thing for me.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

365 gratitude day 336

I'm grateful that we've met our deductible, so I can go to a therapist and chiropractor without having to pay much. I feel so great after going to the chiropractor today!

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

365 gratitude day 335

I'm grateful for friends. I said goodbye to another friend today. They were only here for a take short time (less than two years) but I learned a lot from her. She has been candid with me and some of her emotional stuff, which has helped me think more about mine.

Monday, December 12, 2016

365 gratitude day 334

I'm grateful for opportunities to sing. I sang at a nursing home tonight, it was so fun to see the residents enjoy my music. It's moments like this that make me grateful for the talents God has given me. I love to help people feel happiness through my singing.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

365 gratitude day 333

I'm grateful for moments of gentle nudges of the Spirit. I felt today they I need to change the way I act on the Sabbath. It was just a gentle thought, no gilt was attached, no major... anything. Which is usually what it takes to get me to change. So I'm grateful fir my experience today.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

365 gratitude day 332

I'm grateful for opportunities to get free stuff. This Christmas is going to be loud of gifts that we got for free. Giving gifts if a big deal for me, so I'm grateful that I can still give a lot of stuff to my kids without having to pay for much of it.

Friday, December 9, 2016

365 gratitude day 331

I'm grateful for help from heaven. Corbin had a mega fit that lasted at least an hour and a half. Despite my best efforts, nothing I did could calm him down. After several moments of complete frustration and feelings of helplessness in my part, he cuddled up to me and calmed down. I'm grateful that the Lord knows what he needs, cuz I certainly didn't!

Thursday, December 8, 2016

365 gratitude day 330

I'm grateful for the partnership that I have with Jonathan. This week has been really good for me, and kind of rough for Jonathan. I feel like I've been able to help him and support him, and he's done the same for me. It feels good to be there for him. He's such a rock for me all the time, and it's nice to feel like I can support him, and sustain him too.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

365 gratitude day 329

I'm grateful that the kids were good at my chiropractor appointment today. I went just for an assessment, so it was short. I get adjusted tomorrow, I'm excited to start feeling some relief from my pelvic pain. It's not bad, but I figure it doesn't hurt to do what I can to make it better.

365 gratitude day 328

I'm grateful for to-do lists. I have started using one again this week and it has given me little victories every day, which then bring good thoughts. It also has been motivating me to do something productive with my time, rather than get frustrated and stressed with all that I have to do. (So much so, that I just shut down)

I'm grateful for the inspiration to start making a list.

Monday, December 5, 2016

365 gratitude day 327

Today I felt like I was the mom I want to be. Cambria had a little attitude right of the bat. So I was on the ball, and sat down and played a card game with her for at least twenty minutes. That catapulted us into a great day, with great interactions with each other. Things still happened... Things were spilt, fits were thrown, but I kept my cool!

... all until about 5 when I tried to make dinner. Then my dream mom hit reality... but we don't need to talk about that.

I'm so grateful for the glimpse of what I could be. I can't help but feel like that is who I really am, and this crazy emotional person, that I am most of the time, is not me. I just don't know how to let go of this craziness... it's a work in progress. So today I'm grateful for glimpses.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

365 gratitude day 326

I'm grateful for meaningful fasts. Jonathan and I had an experience last night were we talked about what the purpose of fasting was, how that interacts with prayer, and if asking for something we wanted was appropriate to do in a fast. We grew in our understanding through our conversation and our application of our scripture study from the previous week.
I'm grateful for moments like this that build my understanding and help me grow in the gospel.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

365 gratitude day 325

Today Corbin came down with a cold. There was a Christmas party this morning, so I took Cambria by myself. I had such a good time just speeding tone auth her abs doing fun things for her. I'm grateful for good moments with my kids. They keep me going.

Friday, December 2, 2016

365 gratitude day 324

I'm grateful that people showed up to my interior design class. We have a small group of moms that get together and learn from each other. So far we have had an astronomy class and a trig class. Now it's my turn, and I decided to teach interiors. Mainly because it's something I was interested in learning about, and it's so applicable... everyone lives in a home.

Anyway, it was really fun to teach the class, and it made the hours of preparation worth it, just seeing how engaged everyone was.

365 gratitude day 323

I'm grateful for the women that surround me. I went to a relief society activity and was energized and filled.

I'm also grateful for the good day that I had. It feels so refreshing to have a good day after a string of bad ones.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

365 gratitude day 322

Today as Cambria and I were playing, I was sitting on the floor and she was standing. She gave me a hug and I heard her heart beating. I was filled with gratitude that she has a strong healthy body.
I know that is not always the case, and I'm grateful that it is the case with my kids.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

365 gratitude day 321

I'm grateful that my mom is just a phone call away. We had a good, happy conversation today.

I'm grateful that my kids want to be around me. Sometimes I don't give them the attention they need, but they still love me. I'm really grateful for that.

365 gratitude day 320

I'm grateful that despite the rough day, I was still able to get a lot done today.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

365 gratitude day 319

I'm grateful that we made it home safely. None of us got a ton of sleep last night. We were all really tired in the car.

I'm also grateful that the heater turned on today. Our heater has a part that is getting old (no biggy, it's a relatively minor fix, we just haven't called someone to fix it yet) and it causes the heater to not kick out heat periodically. Well we turned the heat way down while we were gone. And couldn't get the heater to kick on today. We gathered together and prayed that it would turn on, and it did a little while later! I'm grateful for opportunities to do something like that, where the kids can see that the Lord answers our prayers.

365 gratitude day 318

I'm grateful for how easy it is to talk to the Hillam's. I think if we lived in the same city, Kallie and I would be great friends!

I'm grateful for how fun they are. We are having a great time!

365 gratitude day 317

I'm grateful for the hospitality of the Hillam's. We are visiting Jonathan's former mission companion and his family for the weekend. They are so welcoming and accommodating.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

365 gratitude day 316

Today I'm grateful for holidays. This thanksgiving was really fun! It was full of texts from my family, time with my kids and hubby, fantastic food and friends. It was a great day. I'm grateful for days to remember my abundance. It's easy to think I don't have much (since we are in grad school) but we are really comfortable, and don't go without. We have been very blessed.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

365 gratitude day 315

I'm grateful for the support that can come from the Lord. Corbin had a meltdown that lasted 2 hours!! Thankfully, Cambria was an angel today, so I only delt with one cranky kid.

But I digress: I'm so grateful that regardless of the stressful morning, I had a great day and legitimately enjoyed some time with both my kids.

365 gratitude day 314

I'm grateful for the atonement.

Monday, November 21, 2016

365 gratitude day 313

Today I'm grateful for media. That's odd to say, but sometimes everyone just NEEDS a distraction to make it till daddy comes home. Today was one of those days. I wasn't in the best of moods, and Cambria had a screaming fit if ANYTHING went in any other direction besides her way. So wild crats and fixer upper got us through the day.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

365 gratitude day 312

I'm grateful for the atonement. Everyone in our house was cranky today. I'm glad that tomorrow is a new day, and (hopefully) we won't take today's baggage into tomorrow.

365 gratitude day 311

I'm grateful for productive Saturdays! I got most of what I wanted to get done finished today.

I made some muffins, and chopped veggies for snacks and meals this week! I was so proud of myself!

Friday, November 18, 2016

365 gratitude day 310

Today on our way home from the temple, Jonathan and I started talking about our kids' personalities. We started identifying different traits they each possessed. It was so good! I felt like I was able to see them as people rather than just toddlers. I was beaming by the end of the conversation. I am blessed to be surrounded by some pretty amazing people.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

365 gratitude day 309

I'm grateful that the weather was beautiful today. I can't believe it's mid November and we are still getting days in the 70's!
We went on a quick walk, and I loved it.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

365 gratitude day 308

I'm grateful for pain killers. I had a killer headache, and I wasn't a very nice person. But thankfully I felt better after taking Tylenol.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

365 gratitude day 307

I'm grateful for the inspiration I had yesterday to start a craft. I basically finished it today (just a little glue, spray sealant, and a few holes to drill and it will be done!) and I feel so energized because of it. I had a very bad day, so Jonathan gave me the night off. I decided to work on my project and my day has ended so much better than it started!

I'm also grateful that I found something to do for me. Most of the creative things I do are for other people. So I finish them usually within a time crunch (which adds stress, not relieves it), then I give them away and hardly see them again. But this is going to sit on my door for a while. And I will enjoy it!

Oh, and the best thing about it? Everything that went into making it, I already had. Aside from one thing that I spent a dollar on. Bonus! I win!

Monday, November 14, 2016

365 gratitude day 306

I'm grateful that despite how tired and anxious I felt, I still was able to get a lot done today! I kept the kitchen clean, and had both kids help with folding the laundry (something I've never tried to do), took a walk, and even started a thanksgiving project on a whim (with left over materials, so it's going to be free!)

I am grateful that I can step back and see that it probably wasn't because I'm awesome. It's because the Lord was sustaining me, and helping me not boil over. I bubbled up a few times, but was able to simmer down.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

365 gratitude day 305

Today I'm grateful for the Spirit that I felt at church. I really had some moments of soul searching, and it was so good.

365 gratitude day 304

I'm grateful for baby showers. I spent some good time with other women today. It filled me (it fills a different jar than my family jar...)

I'm also grateful that Jonathan and I were able to get out on a date tonight! That fills me too.

365 gratitude day 303

Today Amy and mom left. I'm grateful that it was a good day despite them leaving. When I first became a mom, I had a really hard time saying goodbye. It always ended in tears and a few day post-vacation depression. But today was different. We all had a good day, and spent some good time together.

365 gratitude day 302

Today we just chilled. I am grateful that I feel so comfortable with my family. I'm grateful for how much we laugh together. I'm grateful for how energized and upbeat I feel with them around.

365 gratitude day 301

I'm grateful for the fun we had in Indy today. I had a pretty intense craving for Tucanos on Monday but was able to hold it off till today. I'm glad I did! It was so fun to go with mom and Amy too!

I'm grateful that I was able to walk around the temple with them too. The Indy temple really feels like my temple. So it's fun to have people I care so much about see a place I care so much about.

365 gratitude day 300

Today my mom and my older sister showed up on my doorstep! They knocked on the door at 10:00 tonight. I had no idea they were coming! That was the definition of a pleasant surprise!

I'm grateful for the relationships I have with them, that I want to be with them, and they would be willing to sacrifice time and money to spend time with me!

Monday, November 7, 2016

365 gratitude day 299

I know I just said this, but I'm grateful that my kids are starting to play together. It's so fun to see that they enjoy being with each other. It also gives me hope for bringing in a new person into the mix: maybe they won't be on top of me or fighting endlessly every time I need to nurse...

I love to see them laugh together. That's a better sound than just one child laughing; two, laughing with each other!

Sunday, November 6, 2016

365 gratitude day 298

I'm grateful for all the resources the church has for all sorts things. Jonathan and I watched a good portion of a teacher training video to help teachers understand the new program that's being implemented "teaching in the Savior's way". It was inspiring to hear the words of general authorities and general officers of the church talk about teaching.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

365 gratitude day 297

I'm grateful for all the things I had to do today. I was going from place to place (babysitting, to an essential oils class, to home for a minute, then to a free ballet concert) that it felt like a mommy day off. I needed that. Before today, I had been feeling like I hadn't had a break for longer than an evening in a very long time. So this was perfect timing. I'm grateful for Jonathan, who just stepped up and took care of the kids without a word. He's so great!

Friday, November 4, 2016

365 gratitude day 296

I'm so grateful for moments to connect with baby Aveya. I laid down today and took some time to focus on her. I watched my belly jump as she moved, and I felt my belly and got an idea of where she is, and how big she is.

This whole pregnancy thing is such a miracle!

Thursday, November 3, 2016

365 gratitude day 295

I'm grateful for my therapist. I don't think I mentioned that I'm going, but I've been going for about a month. She is awesome because she asked questions in ways that I come to concussions myself, rather than just telling me what I need to do.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

365 gratitude day 294

Today I'm grateful for friends who invite me to do things with them. Although we left stressed (Corbin had a short nap, and doesn't have many opportunities to play with kids his own age... that's not a good combo), I'm grateful that we got out of the house and got to know a new friend better.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Monday, October 31, 2016

365 gratitude day 292

I'm grateful that I was able to take the kids trick-or-treating! It was fun to see the reactions of the people at the door. Cambria was so excited to see houses with lights on (I told her that's how we knew if we could knock on their door) and Corbin had a good time walking with us. There were several times he happily babbled as we went from house to house.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

365 gratitude day 291

I'm grateful that our lesson went well. I'm not sure if I mentioned that I was called as a gospel doctrine team teacher with Jonathan, but today was our first lesson together.

It went well, and a few people told me some good things about our lesson. So that felt good!

I'm also grateful that Jonathan and I had a good conversation about where we might want to end up. We have applied for a professor job at BYU, but don't necessarily feel like we are going to get it. So today we talked about the future; it felt good to hear how he feels about things, and tell him how I feel about things.

365 gratitude day 290

I'm grateful that we had fun celebrating Halloween. We went to a small dinner party, and then trunk-or-treating right afterwards. It's fun that Cambria is old enough to really start getting into holidays.

Friday, October 28, 2016

365 gratitude day 289

Today was full of getting in and out of the car. But today we were running fun errands! We went to the park, and the library, and to aerobics(not in that order). I'm grateful that we were able to go places the kids liked going.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

365 gratitude day 288

I'm grateful that we don't have to go through this life without help. Along with divine guidance, there are a lot of people who have devoted a lot of time and energy into helping people.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

365 gratitude day 287

I'm grateful that the rain didn't start really coming down hard till I had all the groceries in the van. I forgot to grab the reusable bags out of my trunk when we went to aldi today. So I was loading my groceries into my bags in the parking lot. As soon as I was done, the rain started coming down more than just a sprinkle. It's a little thing, but I was grateful for it today.

365 gratitude day 286

I'm grateful for progress in daily tasks. We have a MOUNTAIN of clean laundry. I finally sorted and put away about half of it. It feels so good to have lots of it gone.

Monday, October 24, 2016

365 gratitude day 285

I'm grateful for the inspiration that Jonathan received to give the kids blessings today.
We talked about the priesthood for family home evening, and then Jonathan gave Cambria and Corbin blessings. It was so special to see how they understood the sacredness of what was going on. The spirit was strong, and they loved it.
We have been really struggling to think of ways to help Cambria learn to obey and be respectful. One thought Jonathan had was to do this. I would love it if it helped!

Sunday, October 23, 2016

365 gratitude day 284

I'm grateful for this calling I have as a teacher! In preparation for our lesson next Sunday, I've studied the scriptures in more depth than I have in a very long time! I'm excited to learn from the scriptures, and grow to truly love them.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

365 gratitude day 283

Today I witnessed Cambria and Corbin's relationship blossom. I'm so glad they are starting to have good moments together.

Friday, October 21, 2016

365 gratitude day 282

Today I'm grateful that Cambria and I worked together on a few things. It felt good to have her next to me, working with me. We made liquid soap out of a bar of soap, and hot chocolate mix... because, why not?

My fuse was a little short today right from the get-go, but I was still able to have productive moments. I'm grateful for that too.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

365 gratitude day 281

Today I'm grateful for good days. There are lots of little things that I'm grateful for. All those little things added up to a good day.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

365 gratitude day 280

Today I'm grateful for k-love. I had it on in the van as I picked up Cambria from preschool. Long-story short: she had a MAJOR meltdown. We are talking 25 minutes of straight screaming or crying. She refused to keep the door closed in the van and getting her in the car seat was out of the question. Do there were plenty of awkward onlookers (some who didn't make eye contact and I could tell were thinking "hurry, get to where I'm going. Don't look" some who approached me and asked if they could help)
I'm proud to say that I didn't scream at her. I took the other extreme and cried through the whole ordeal because I didn't know what to do, and I was beyond stressed. After an angel helper came and asked if she could help, then didn't take no for an answer, Cambria calmed down and buckled up.

As I drove away, still stressed beyond belief and crying, the song sparrows came on the radio. By the time it was over, my breathing was a little more normal and I wasn't crying as hard. I'm grateful for the peace that I felt for those three minutes when I desperately needed it.

Girl confirmed!

I had a midwife appointment yesterday and asked if they could double check my baby's gender since it was so unclear during the ultrasound. (They have a handheld device, so it wasn't like I was asking for another ultrasound).

The midwife came in and tried. She checked and baby had her legs crossed, like a proper girl. She said she couldn't get the right angle, so she grabbed the tech on duty. The tech tried with the little machine and then said "this is pointless! Come into the ultrasound room"! I was so excited!  She moved and wiggled the wand and eventually she said "oh! I see girl parts!"

That was that! I feel so much better knowing for sure! 

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

365 gratitude day 279

I'm grateful for the Lord's help today in keeping my goal to put my phone away when the kids were around. Considering how much I'm on it regularly, this was a miracle.

I'm grateful for the connections I didn't miss out on because I was present.

Monday, October 17, 2016

365 gratitude day 278

Today I'm grateful for a friend asking me to go on a walk with her. This fall has been absolutely beautifully warm. But for one reason or another I just stay inside. So it was great to get out this morning.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

365 gratitude day 277

Cambria felt Aveya kick today! I'm grateful for wonderful moments like that!

Did we decide on a name?

This pregnancy has been so different in so many ways. One of which has been baby names. As soon as I knew I was pregnant, I felt like if this baby was a girl, this baby was going to be Aveya (as long as Jonathan didn't veto it). I'll have to write a different post about the history of the name.
When I was in Utah, I was talking to Amy (my sister) about boy names, and she mentioned she loved the name Declan, but couldn't ever get Tony on board. So I asked her if I could use it. I immediately texted Jonathan and he didn't hate it if the bat! That is huge!

I mentioned to him later that if baby was a boy, I thought "Hinckley"would be an seating middle name. Declan Hinckley, doesn't that sound amazing?

Long story short, we had a girl and boy name that we were both ok with long before we knew the gender of our baby.

Well... today we had "the talk" and we both feel like there's no reason to keep calling this baby "baby", or even "baby girl" so we started calling her Aveya. As long as it really doesn't feel right, that's probably her name!! Things just got real over here!

So baby girl is probably Aveya Leanne. (Leanne is both mine and my mom's middle name, and we are both the second daughters... it's just too perfect to pass up)

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Danae

Today marks 5 years after my cousins death. She is such a light, and we had a relationship despite our age gap. I felt loved by her, and I miss her.

She was killed in a car accident, and she was 14. Cambria is her name sake and I think of her often when I say Cambria's name. I hope Cambee can love like Nae.

Love you Nae, I'm grateful that I know where you are, and that you aren't far.

365 gratitude day 276

I'm grateful for the friendships I was able to strengthen by having our annual doughnut night. I'm grateful for Jonathan's help in keeping traditions alive. I'm grateful that this is such a fun one. And I'm excited for next year, where hopefully, Cambria can help a little more in the prep work.

365 gratitude day 275

I'm grateful that I was able to go with a group of moms to the temple today. The women around me are inspiring in a lot of ways. I'm grateful for good examples around me.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Therapy

Just thought I should put it out there that I started seeing a therapist last week. Today was my second session with her. She is really good, and helping me recognize things that I didn't connect before.

I started seeing her for my anxiety/depressive episodes, but she has mostly been helping me try to deal with/recognize my emotions and not get to overwhelmed with my kids. Which I think is so wise, since that's when the episodes happen, right after I lose it with my kids.

365 gratitude day 274

I'm grateful that Jonathan asked me to help him look over his cover letter for a job he is applying for. We both really want the job, so it felt good to do something to help him prepare.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

365 gratitude day 273

Today I got to be an extra in a commercial for a dentist in my ward. I'm grateful for opportunities to get out of the house and interact with other adults.

I met some other people from the stake and had done good conversations. And now I feel rejuvenated.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

365 gratitude day 272

I'm grateful for the mom conference. It's a fee online conference where experts are interviewed and give advice for moms. Today I watched an interview with dr. Laura and her parenting philosophy made a lot of sense. I want to check it her books at the library and read more about her parenting philosophy. She has a website that I plan to check out: ahaparenting.com

(Jessica, Jonathan and I both listened and thought of you since you were asking about positive parenting. Her program seems a little more up all of our alleys then positive parenting. FYI)

Monday, October 10, 2016

365 gratitude day 271

While in a rather large emotional funk tonight, I put Corbin to bed. As I was singing him songs, he was humming along with me. I realized that I enjoyed that moment and made myself smile, which then brought the feeling of joy that I needed.

I'm grateful for good moments amidst the dark ones. Especially when they involve my kids, I love feeling joy with them.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Turning a corner?

Last time we had normal church, Corbin walked into nursery without looking back. Today he did the same thing! He has had the hardest transition into nursery ever! I'm just do grateful for fantastic nursery leaders, who take it all in stride!

This week Cambria asked to try some salad with raspberry vinaigrette. Not only that but she ate most if it! It hasn't happened again, but it's a step in the right direction. We might just get our kids to eat dinner some day (they don't eat anything... they refuse to try new things, and unless it's plain rice or plain noodles, we might as well forget making something for them. We are doing what the experts suggest... they say someday they will learn... someday...)

365 gratitude day 270

Today I'm grateful for vulnerability. You can grow so much closer to a person when you listen to them as they open up to you.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

365 gratitude day 269

Today I took Cambria out on a mommy daughter date. She was beaming the whole time! There were moments I had never seen her smile so big!

We went to Starbucks and got a pumpkin spice frappuccino. (We have an endless supply of gift cards, and I really REALLY love pumpkin. Win-win.) Then we went to the library and played and read books. It was so good to get out with the focus just to have a good time with Cambria.

I'm grateful for those moments with her.

Friday, October 7, 2016

365 gratitude day 268

I'm grateful for quiet moments. I watched a friend kids tonight as part of a date night swap. The way they put their oldest down (he's 3) is to sit in his room till he falls asleep. So I sat in a quiet room for about 15 minutes. The quiet calm without a phone is prefect for reflection. I'm grateful for the time I was able to do that.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

365 gratitude day 267

I'm so grateful for modern technology. We had our ultrasound today and I fell even more in love with the baby after seeing her little arms and face! I'm both excited and nervous to have another baby.

Is it a girl baby or a boy baby?

We found out the gender of our baby today! We wanted to do it a little differently this time, so we had the ultrasound tech text a friend, who ordered cupcakes for us. Then we ate the cupcakes and there was pink frosting in the middle!! We are going to have a girl!

... I think. The tech said that baby was being pretty modest, and kept her legs tight together the whole time. But the tech felt confident enough to tell us it was a girl. I plan on asking my midwife to check again (since they have a hand held device) just to be sure. But this baby has always felt like a girl, but I didn't want to admit to it just in case it wasn't...

We are really excited!

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

365 gratitude day 266

I'm grateful for moments that I truly connect with Cambria. Today we went on a walk and she insisted that she walk (rather than ride in the stroller). We ended up taking about preschool, what makes her happy and sad. I almost got a glimpse of what it will be like to have a daughter that's not 3. I love her, even though she is in a super difficult stage right now.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

365 gratitude day 265

I'm grateful for the warmer weather. We are getting a warm streak and it's nice to open the windows in my house and to have pleasant weather to enjoy while running errands.
I'm so grateful that I'm not having to add coats, socks and shoes onto our list of things to get on before leaving the house yet. I'm loving that I don't have to do that yet.

365 gratitude day 264

Today was such a good day! I was able to stay calm despite the normal craziness. I'm so grateful for good days!

Sunday, October 2, 2016

365 gratitude day 263

I'm grateful that Jonathan and I had such a great "family council"! We are at our wits end with Cambria. She is at such a rebellious/disobedient/defiant stage and we don't know what else to try. We prayed hard and felt like we got some good inspiration.

365 gratitude day 262

I'm grateful that General conference was today! I'm grateful that I felt the Spirit strongly, and I'm grateful that the kids did so well! We were able to listen to the majority of the talks!

365 gratitude day 261

I'm grateful that my bad day only lasted a few hours. I hit my super mad momma by about 11:00. Then I broke down and felt really bad, said I was sorry and prayed. Then the day was significantly better. I'm grateful for the Lord's help.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

365 gratitude day 260

I'm grateful that when I'm at my wits end, I can strap the kids in the stroller and go for a walk. I'm grateful that they sit so I can think abut something besides correcting them.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

365 gratitude day 259

I'm grateful that I was sustained today! Jonathan had to work late tonight, so I was gearing up to do a full days work, dinner and bedtime included. I was doing so well at 6:00 (which I'm usually very done by then) and then Jonathan said that he was done, so we picked him up.

I'm grateful that the Lord answered my prayers. I asked to be sustained, and to enjoy today. Which I did.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

365 gratitude day 258

Today is my cousin Tacy's birthday. I texted her for a while, I'm grateful for my family, both for my siblings and mom; but also for my cousins and aunts and uncles. I really have such a wonderful family. They are a huge part of my rock.

Monday, September 26, 2016

365 gratitude day 257

Today was the start of something new. I had a little shift in how I saw my role as a mother, and tried to live accordingly. I'm grateful that I stayed calm the majority of the day today. I'm not going to dwell on the fact that I got overwhelmed at the end. I made it 9 hours out of the 10 hours Jonathan was gone. That's a win.

I'm also grateful that I had that positive thought. That doesn't come naturally these days... So I know that wasn't me, and I'm grateful for the intervention.

Sunday, September 25, 2016

365 gratitude day 256

I'm grateful for self reflection. I'm grateful for the realization that the frustrations I was feeling in my relationships were mainly my fault.
I'm also grateful that self reflection doesn't always end in self degradation. Today I almost went there, but I didn't. And I'm grateful for the help I received so that I didn't go there.

365 gratitude day 255

I'm so grateful for women's conference. Every single thing that I thought might be nice to ponder was addressed in that conference session. I'm so grateful for inspired leaders.

365 gratitude day 254

I'm grateful for the realization today that I don't have to dwell in my bad moods. Today I made a conscious effort to get over myself. And it worked! I had a rough morning, but my day turned around after I let stuff go and forced myself to enjoy something. Then a good day just followed nicely.

Corbin is 2!

Corbin turned two almost a month ago. I'm just barley getting around to talking about it... That's ok. Story of my life is: better late than never!

Dear Corbin,
You are now two and you are such a joy! You are such a happy boy, and I can tell you have a zeal for life. I am remembering the first part of your life and you were such a sad baby. I can't help but realize how uncomfortable you must have been, now that I know your disposition (You had such horrible acid reflux, you would spit up so much and you often were sad as you were digesting your food as well). You would often calm down when I held you, and that is still true. You still love to be held. I'm trying to get used to not carrying you all the time because you are getting heavier, and pretty soon I'll have someone else who will need to be held a little more than you. I have a feeling you are going to love your little sibling, and you are going to be so sweet with him/her. (I'm not going to mention that I'm also worried that you might have a harder time adjusting to not being the youngest...)

Corbin, you really love to see people happy. You love to be with happy people, and you love to make people laugh. My favorite thing that you do (and that gets me every time) is you get right in my face and make the cheasiest smile you can manage. You scrunch up your eyes and smile as big as you can. It makes me laugh, which then makes you laugh, and then you do it again! I love it!

Corbin, you are also such a giving person. There are times when you know for a fact that Cambria really wants what you have (**cough** when she throws a major fit) and you gladly hand her what she wants. There are no strings attached, you just hand it over and find something else to do. Seeing a toddler do that is really surprising, and I can only imagine how selfless you really are. I'm excited to see you grow up into the selfless person that's in your character.

You are a major climber. There really isn't anywhere that's about 4 feet or below that you can't get to. You figure out a way to get what you want. You are a master chair-pusher, and you have discovered a whole new world that is on top of the counter, and what's in the freezer. Thankfully you don't climb on the counter yet, but you like to reach what's on there.




On that note, you also don't have a problem getting food for yourself whenever you want it. It doesn't matter if the food is in the pantry, or the fridge, or on the counter. If it's something that sounds yummy, you get it and eat it. I'm not quite sure how to help you understand what snack time is and when it's time to not eat. I'm sure we will figure it out. More often than not, I find you have eaten fruit. You LOVE fruit! I've been trying to keep more of a variety of fruits and veggies in the house and you are in heaven! You would eat fruit all day if I let you.

Corbin, I'm so grateful that you are part of our family. You are such a loving guy, and your cuddles fill my soul. I love you buddy!

love,

Mommy
    


Thursday, September 22, 2016

365 gratitude day 253

I'm grateful that today was genuinely a good day! I enjoyed my kids, I enjoyed the beautiful weather, and ordered cupcakes. Sounds like a good day to me!

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

365 gratitude day 252

I'm grateful that Jonathan took the kids tonight so I could go grocery shopping by myself.

You know you're a moon when a vacation feels like work and grocery shopping by yourself feels like a vacation :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

365 gratitude day 251

I'm grateful for visiting teaching. My visiting teacher came over and shared the message on parenting. A few things I learned (or was reminded) "never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved".
I also learned that I'm not alone in my feelings of frustration and inadequacy.

Another thing I realized is that Jonathan spends far less time with the kids than I do. But (let's say) we both get frustrated with the kids half the time we are with them. He is going to be frustrated a far less amount of time than I am. But that's not a reason to think I'm way worse of a parent than him. We both get frustrated half the time, my time is just way longer than his. So I'm not a worse parent. (That's the take home message, just in case you got lost in all that. We are both good)

That made me feel much better.

Monday, September 19, 2016

365 gratitude day 250

I'm grateful that Corbin's potty training experience has gone so well. I was really nervous to start because Cambria's was such a long road. I should know by now that they are different people and even though they need to learn the same skills, the way they go about it is going to be a completely different journey.
Corbin was totally ready, and I'm so grateful that it's gone well thus far.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

365 gratitude day 249

I'm grateful that I can chat with family. Jonathan and I chatted with James and Sadie tonight and it was so good to connect with them again. I feel like it had been a while.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

365 gratitude day 248

Today I'm grateful for good books. I'm reading the sequel to a book I finished right before I left for Utah. It's called longing for home. It's so good. It feels good to have an escape they isn't mindless and pointless like all of my other escapes.

Baby moves

Jonathan felt baby move for the first time last night. I know, it seems really early for even me to feel them, but we both felt a kick at the same time!

This pregnancy has been such an easy ride (aside from the initial stress when I started bleeding) and it has been easy to forget that I am pregnant. Now that I can feel movement I feel like things are going to feel real pretty quick. And if baby is on my mind more, I will probably connect with baby more (which is something I've felt like I've missed out on with the pregnancy being so easy.)

I'm excited! Pregnancy is so exciting!

Friday, September 16, 2016

365 gratitude day 247

I'm grateful for opportunities to serve. I'm not the best at giving service. I "watched someone else's kids" but we really just stayed at her house and made sure everyone stayed safe and relatively happy. I need to be better at taking control, and not waiting around for someone else to.

365 gratitude day 246

I'm grateful that I had a good chat with a friend today. Linsey is such a great example of what a good friend is. I've said it before, but she is equally friendly to all, which doesn't come naturally to me. I tend to hang around people who are friendly to me, and are similar to me. I also tend to find a friend I click with and stay choose to her... Linsey makes everyone feel like an equally close friend.

There's a lot I can learn from her.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

365 gratitude day 245

I'm grateful for how present the Lord is in our lives if we open up our eyes and see it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

365 gratitude day 244

Today was a better emotional day. I stayed on top of my emotions and didn't fly off the handle as much as I have in the previous few days. I'm so grateful for lighter days (as opposed to the dark ones I've been in) which help me see that I'm not the person I act like sometimes.

Monday, September 12, 2016

365 gratitude day 243

I'm grateful for beautiful weather. I took the kids on a two mile walk with a park visit in the middle. The weather was perfect and it helped make a long, hard day a little more bearable.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

365 gratitude day 242

I'm grateful that I was able to spend some time with Catherine Picon tonight. She just had a baby (at 35 weeks) because she just found out that she has a brain tumor, and they needed to get the baby out so she can have surgery.

I'm grateful for her honesty, and faith, which gives me strength. She has always been an example to me, and this experience is no different.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

365 gratitude day 241

I'm grateful that I didn't have two rock bottom days in a row. Yesterday was horrible. One of the worst days I've had in a long time, maybe even ever. It was pretty bad. But today was awesome. I spent some quality time with Cambria, which doesn't happen as much as it should. And I went to a ward social and got some genuine social interaction.

365 gratitude day 240

I'm so grateful that Jonathan is mine. He is such a wonderful man! Happy birthday, my love

Thursday, September 8, 2016

365 gratitude day 239

I'm grateful that I have an outlet to perform. A few ladies in my ward get together and all perform music. Today I sang "home" from beauty and the beast, that song has always moved me, but today was the first time I've performed it. I totally started crying. It felt good to feel something real while performing. Although, my singing wasn't that great... but I knew my performing was on point.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

365 gratitude day 238

I'm so grateful for supportive friends. I have felt inspired to change the way I eat. To try to eat more veggies, and fruits, and try to keep my snacks closer to just whole food.
Today I met with a few friends who have been eating this way for a while and had some good pointers and tips to get started. This is a very daunting lifestyle switch, especially since I don't like vegetables. So it's nice to have friends who can help me out.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

365 gratitude day 237

I'm grateful for friends. I have a few really close ones and I really love them.

365 gratitude day 236

I'm grateful that there are a group of women who put a lot of time and effort into teaching fitness classes for free at church. It's nice to get out of the house and have somewhere to go.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

365 gratitude day 235

Today during fast and testimony meeting I had a realization. Like I said in my last post, I've had some minor bleeding associated with my pregnancy. Throughout the bleeding (aside from the first time I started bleeding) I have felt very calm. That is usually not the case, usually I am very nervous for most of the time. I recognize that this is the Lord sustaining me.

I felt very strongly when we were thinking about getting pregnant that the Lord told me to trust Him. I was worried because I don't feel like I have it all together, in fact, I feel very much the opposite.

I realized today, though, that He is sustaining me for putting my faith in Him. My life isn't easy, my burdens aren't made so light that I can't feel them, but they are lighter. They are heavy enough for me to gain some spiritual muscles, but they aren't debilitating. And I think they could be, so I thank Him for that.

And I'm thankful for that realization today.

Let's make this blog official

I've told my immediate family, and I've announced it on Facebook, so now it's time to make it blog official too.

We are expecting our third baby in February! I am 15 weeks along and feeling great. I have had a little bleeding, but I'm starting to realize that's just normal for me. I've gone to the doctor a few times and baby is growing nicely. We feel very blessed, and nervous to be planning for another baby!

Saturday, September 3, 2016

365 gratitude day 234

I'm grateful that I was able to help dad Kershaw with his projects today. I did lots of sanding and a little painting. It's so fun to work with my hands!

365 gratitude day 233

I'm grateful that although what I planned to do on campus didn't work out originally, that we still were able to have fun.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

365 gratitude day 232

I'm so grateful for relief society activities! It's through them that I really get to make strong connections with other women around me.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

365 gratitude day 231

I'm grateful that mom and dad Kershaw are here. They make it a point to come see us once a year, which I really appreciate. They are fun and help in so many ways! I like having them around.

365 gratitude day 230

I'm so grateful for Corbin. Today is his birthday, and I've reflected a little about how he had changed my life. He is generally a happy person (as I'm writing this, he is screaming and crying at daddy. Haha) and he loves to make people laugh. I love his snuggles and that he likes to be close.

I'm grateful for my baby who isn't really a baby anymore.

Monday, August 29, 2016

365 gratitude day 229

I'm grateful for air conditioning. This weekend has been very humid, and it is so nice to be able to get relief in the car and indoors.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

365 gratitude day 228

I'm so grateful for inspired gospel doctrine teachers. Joseph Picon studied the war chapters in Alma and found ways to make them applicable to our own lives! It was such an inspired lesson.

365 gratitude day 227

I'm so grateful that mom was willing to drive all the way to salt lake just to help me get through baggage claim. I wasn't feeling well, and it was so wonderful to have her take the kids and help at baggage claim.

I'm also so grateful that Jonathan parked the car so he could help me get my baggage when we arrived in Chicago.

365 gratitude day 222-226

I didn't write while I was in Utah. But it sufficeth to say that in the 222 day and the 223 day and 224, 225, 226 day there was much gratitude in the land.

Monday, August 22, 2016

365 gratitude day 221

Today I'm so grateful for Tony, and others who helped me today. I was so overwhelmed at Scarlett's blessing, the kids were exhausted, and I couldn't last more than 60 seconds without one or both of them completely melting down. So Tony took Corbin for the rest if the night, which made it possible for me to socialize and catch up with cousins and stuff.

365 gratitude day 220

I'm grateful that the kids did so well on the flight. I'm grateful that we made it down to Amy's without too much trouble. Corbin was exhausted, and thus I was stretched to my limits trying to get him to go where we need.

I'm grateful that we don't miss a beat, when my family gets together. I love them so much.

365 gratitude day 219

Today I'm grateful that I get to go to Utah tomorrow! I have missed my family like crazy the last few months. It's hard for me to live so far away.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

365 gratitude day 218

Today I'm grateful for the ease of communication. My family had a small emergency and I was able to communicate with everyone involved, which set my mind at ease and helped me feel not as helpless being so far from them.

365 gratitude day 217

I'm grateful for modern medicine! I'm grateful that there are doctors to help when needed

365 gratitude day 216

I'm grateful for all the support of my friends and family.

Monday, August 15, 2016

365 gratitude day 215

I'm grateful for my hard working husband. He stayed home from work today and helped unpack. We are basically settled now, because he just kept unpacking. All.Day.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

365 gratitude day 214

I'm grateful for the warm welcome we had at church today. It was so awesome to come back to a ward we love so much!

I'm also grateful for the Jensen's. They had us over for dinner and we had a really good time catching up with them! We love them!

365 gratitude day 213

I'm grateful that we are back in Indiana, and I'm grateful that it feels like we are home. It's so wonderful to feel like we have a place we call home as a family.

Friday, August 12, 2016

365 gratitude day 212

We had dinner with our BYU intern friends, one of the wives is awesome. (Actually the only BYU intern wife I really got to know), Corbin absolutely loves her, and it's so cute to see! I'm grateful for our friendship, and I hope we can continue to be friends after we leave.
Her husband is Korean, and made Korean bbq... mmmm I really love Korean food!

365 gratitude day 211

I'm grateful today was such a good day! Yesterday was horrible, abd I'm grateful that I can apply the atonement and make this day fresh, and clean.

Side note: General mills likes to have fun! They had a huge carnival today for everyone who worked in Jonathan's building and their families. Everything was free, and we are talking inflatables, pony rides, food, treats.... it was a lot of fun! The reason? It's the end of summer, why not?

365 gratitude day 210

I'm grateful that I realized again how much the Lord is willing to bless us. We had an incident where we felt prompted to do something generous, and less than 24 hours later we were blessed in the same way, with the same thing we just gave.

Monday, August 8, 2016

365 gratitude day 209

I'm grateful that we spent some time outside. We went th a park today and the kids seemed to do so much better after they had some time to run around without me dictating what they could and couldn't do.

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Saturday, August 6, 2016

365 gratitude day 207

Today was such a fun Saturday. We had some good, fun things planned with the kids, and then we went on a date. That was way overdue. It feels good to just walk with Jonathan and hold his hand. I like him.

365 gratitude day 206

I'm grateful that the Olympics started. This is such a fun way to rally around our country. It's also great to see people so good at what they do. I'm excited for the coming weeks.

365 gratitude day 205

I'm grateful that we have people willing to put our kids to bed so we can go to the temple.

The temple was so wonderful today, I feel like I had better prepared myself,  so I felt the Spirit more strongly.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

365 gratitude day 204

I'm so grateful friends. They make life so much more pleasant. I'm grateful that I have made a few here that I really like and admire.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

365 gratitude day 203

Today I hit rock bottom. I'm so grateful for the atonement, Heavenly Father who is always there, for my mom who helps me get through, and for this quote that I read today.

Monday, August 1, 2016

365 gratitude day 202

I'm grateful for sunshine. This world would be a much worse off place to be if it was cloudy all the time. I feel much better when sunshine comes pouring through my windows.
Today was a hard day,  but it would have been worse if it were overcast.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

365 gratitude day 201

I'm grateful for the sacrament. The kids have weird rashes, so we only took them to sacrament meeting. I knew that I would only have one hour at church, so I made a conscious effort to make the most of it.

There is a strong Spirit present during the sacrament. I'm grateful that I took the time to notice it today.

365 gratitude day 200

I'm grateful that my kids love their dad so much! It's so sweet to see how much they want to be with him on the weekends. I'm grateful that they have good relationships with each other.

Friday, July 29, 2016

365 gratitude day 199

We had another chopped date night. We had the jakeman's over and we did and appetizer round. It was so fun! I'm grateful that we have opportunities to do something different.

The mystery basket ingredients were: beef jerky, yellow and orange bell peppers, peach ring candies, and goat cheese.

The jakeman's made a crepe, with peach ring and bell peppers sauce. They cooked the beef in with milk and goat cheese. And added since cucumber for crunch. It was delicious!

We made a beef jerky pizza essentially. We made a peach ring teriyaki sauce and cooked the jerky in it, then made a goat cheese and lemon juice spread. Sauteed the bell peppers, added some spinach and tomatoes and voila!

365 gratitude day 198

I'm grateful that I got lots of sweet cuddles from my kids. Both of them had fevers, and they were both so cuddly. Thankful they weren't needy at the same time, so it was just sweet to cuddle with both of them individually.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

365 gratitude day 197

I'm grateful that the morning, even though it was humid, it was a perfect temperature. We went out and saw a concert put on by a kid toy store. It was fun to do something totally different with the kids.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

365 gratitude day 196

I'm grateful that today was a good day. I don't often have days that I dint count down the hours and minutes till Jonathan gets home. But today I didn't, and it was quite refreshing.

365 gratitude day 195

I'm grateful that Jonathan is aware of money, and sticks to a budget. We balance each other out.

We crunched numbers tonight and figured out how much we could spend on a house. It's good to have a number, and to get my head out of the clouds now.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

365 gratitude day 194

I'm grateful for how filled I felt after church.
I felt the spirit pretty strongly during sacrament meeting and Sunday school.

365 gratitude day 193

I'm so grateful that we went looking at houses today. We found a new home building development that may still have some availability in a year. It's a perfect distance from work fit Jonathan, abd it's a good home for me! Win-win!

The only downside is I'm not sure about the schools in the area. I've heard they are bad, but we will have to see.

365 gratitude day 192

I'm grateful that I'm becoming friends with Emily Kim. I talked to her at the ward picnic. We are being to the point where we feel more comfortable talking to each other than going and meeting new people. I hope we end up in the same ward when we both end up in Minneapolis.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

365 gratitude day 191

I'm grateful for the perfect swimming weather we had today. I ventured out with a friend to our apartment pool. Cambria hada life jacket and just had a blast! Corbin doesn't like the water unless it's in our kitchen sink or on the bathtub, but he had a few moments of fun in the water. It was a good time!

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

365 gratitude day 190

I'm grateful for belly laughs. They make tension melt away. Cambria had some good belly laughs, and I felt so much better after hearing her laugh.

Monday, July 18, 2016

365 gratitude day 189

I'm grateful for the knowledge of the Lord's will for me right now. Something happened today that is concerning but I know all will be well if I keep my faith strong.

365 gratitude day 188

I'm grateful that my friendship/social bucket was filled tonight. We had some ground over for a game night and I'm just getting very... happy... filled... energized I can't think of the right word, but I'm glad they came over.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

365 gratitude day 187

I'm grateful that we have made it a priority to do something fun every Saturday. It mags a big difference in my week, and I think we are making some good memories.

Today we went to lumberjack days in a nearby small town. It was a very small festival, but it had just enough stiff for a young family of 4. 

Friday, July 15, 2016

365 gratitude day 186

I just unloaded all the emotional baggage I've been carrying for the last few months. I feel so much better. I'm grateful that Jonathan is in tune to know that I needed some gentle prodding and a huge listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on. He is pretty great!

Thursday, July 14, 2016

365 gratitude day 185

Today I'm grateful that I took the time to slow down and smell the roses. ... literally, the kids and I took a walk to the store to pick up my perception, and had a wait, so we looked at the flowers and smelled all the different ones. It was a good moment we all had together.

365 gratitude day 184

I had a bad headache tonight. I'm grateful that Jonathan took over, and that it didn't start to get bad till he came home.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

365 gratitude day 183

I told myself that I was going to get some real cleaning done. I was going to push myself.
Last night I prayed for help with motivation today, I prayed that I would have the energy to push through my fatigue and get some stuff done (I have been exhausted the last few weeks). Well I got on my hands and knees and mopped our floors today! I'm grateful for the extra help. Heavenly Father really can help in every aspect of our lives.

365 gratitude day 182

I'm grateful that a sweet lady in my ward offered an essential oil blend that actually worked on Cambria's bug bits! She got eaten alive on Saturday, and has been miserable ever since! She has about 13 bits on her legs and 3 on one elbow... Ouch! In so grateful that she isn't as miserable.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

365 gratitude day 181

I'm grateful for the realization that I had today. Candid had a particularly hard day today. She is covered in inflamed mosquito bites, and cranky ad all get out. (I can't say that she wasn't justified... I get creaky when I'm uncomfortable like that)

But the realization I had today was that the sweet, funny Cambria that we get glimpses of is the real Cambria. All other snarky, cranky, defiant sides of her are her raging toddlerhood-ness, and will probably pass. It was good to remember that deep down she is a wonderful person to be around, it is just hard for her to control all the things she feels inside her body.

... Let's be honest here, I'm still working on controlling all the thing I feel inside too ;)

Saturday, July 9, 2016

365 gratitude day 180

I'm grateful that we got to spend time at a lake. It was a beautiful day and we had fun together.

Friday, July 8, 2016

365 gratitude day 179

I'm grateful for the perfect weather we had today. We spent a while outside today and every time I started thinking it was getting too hot, the clouds would cover the sun and the cool breeze would pick up. It was perfect

365 gratitude day 178

I'm grateful that not all my days are hard days. Today started out good, but got worse after quiet time. I'm grateful that Jonathan is understanding of my limits, and sometimes that means he comes home to a super messy house, but he doesn't say anything.

365 gratitude day 177

I'm grateful that our trip to James and Sadie ended so well. We all were peopled out at one point or another, but by the end of the trip we were all glad that we got to be together.

365 gratitude day 176

I'm so grateful for this free country we live in. I take it for granted often, but the sacrifice that people made to make this such a wonderful place to live has been on my mind today.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

365 gratitude day 175

I'm grateful for the Spirit I felt today at church. There was a quote by president Monson that said something to the effect of: don't pray for your circumstances to meet your abilities, but pray for your abilities to meet your circumstances.

That hit home right now. I feel like I'm to the edge of my abilities, and the demands aren't backing down. As I pray for the enabling power of the atonement, I feel like I often receive what I need, in the moment I need it.

365 gratitude day 174

I'm grateful that we went on a big family bike ride. It had been years since I had gotten on a bike, and I had so much fun! It was a perfect day for a ride and Wisconsin is beautiful!

Saturday, July 2, 2016

365 gratitude day 173

I'm grateful that our kids have such a good relationship with James and Sadie's kids. We are here for the weekend and it's so fun to see them play and imagine together.

Friday, July 1, 2016

365 gratitude day 172

I'm grateful that I was able to reciprocate a kind gesture a friend did for me. She watched the kids earlier this week, so I watched hers while she got ready to go out of town.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

365 gratitude day 171

Today I'm grateful to see that I'm not the only mom who struggles with their kids. One of my friends who I look up to a lot came out of the middle of sacrament meeting with a gritted teeth smile. I had one on too. We bonded in that moment.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

365 gratitude day 168-170

168: I'm so grateful for the fun that I had at a relief society meeting today. I needed to get out and really be able to talk to other women.

169: I'm grateful that we were able to go out on a date. We went to a Brazilian restaurant and it was so fun to see how much Jonathan was enjoying his food (that doesn't happen often) ;)

170: I'm grateful that we had another fun Saturday. We helped out with the stake service project, and then went to mall of America.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

365 gratitude day 167

I'm so grateful that I have moments of pure love for my kids. They come easy for Corbin because he is in a super fun stage right now. But they don't come as easily or frequently with Cambria because she is in a hard phase. I have started praying to have more moments with Cambria, and I've had strong impressions to look at her at a certain time, or slow down and enjoy the cute thing that she is doing. Those moments get me through the hard ones.

365 gratitude day 166

I'm grateful for the inspiration that diverted/defused one of Cambria's mega fits.
She is really in the middle of the terrible threes... everyone said she three is worse than two and I can't agree more. Holy cow it's tough. Yesterday Cambria threw up because she was so worked up. What caused the tantrum? Daddy pushed the button in the elevator when she wanted to. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells, especially around other people. I don't want to set her off. We are seeking diligently for inspiration about her mega fits. We feel like we are getting glimmers...

Monday, June 20, 2016

365 gratitude day 165

Today I'm grateful that the missionaries came over for a lesson. At the end of the lesson they asked me a spiritual question that has been on my mind. I hadn't, up to that point, really sat down and pondered it. But through answering their question,  I got a really good answer to my own question.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

365 gratitude day 164

I'm so grateful for Jonathan, and his role as a father. He is the best daddy I could ask for. He is so wonderful with the kids and I love him so much.

365 gratitude day 163

I'm grateful that we got some work done as a family. It feels good to all work together, even if the kids only are engaged for a minute

Friday, June 17, 2016

365 gratitude day 162

I'm grateful that I had a few moments to feel pure love and joy in Cambria today. She is in a really hard phase, and I've been feeling like I have needed to find things that I just absolutely love about her. And I saw some of those things today.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

365 gratitude day 161

Today I'm so grateful for a friend who saved me today. By 10:00 am Cambria had already had 3 mega tantrums... like mega... I was literally wondering how I was going to make it to 6:00 when daddy planned on getting home. That's when she texted and offered to take her for a little while. It was just what I needed.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

365 gratitude day 160

I'm grateful for moments that being me to the end of my rope, because they humble me enough to remember how fully I need to rely on God.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

365 gratitude day 159

I'm so grateful that I had two and a half good days in a row! I haven't been keeping track, but I feel like that hasn't happened in a while.

I'm also grateful that I had some genuine good moments with each kid (where I was really enjoying them, and enjoying spending time with them). That really fills my mommy bucket.

Monday, June 13, 2016

365 gratitude day 158

Today I'm grateful that getting out of the house is a reset button for the kids. Cambria woke up on THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED this morning. She was on one! But after the park, she was her happy self again.

I'm also grateful for my friend Kate. She is sweet and kind and I feel a strong friendship forming.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

365 gratitude day 157

I'm grateful that I got to get to know one of Jonathan's mission buddies (and his family) better today.

I'm also grateful that I'm starting to find a few people who are becoming friends. I sat next to two different people today and had a good chat after church! I haven't done that for over a year! It felt so great!

My Sweet Corbin

Corbin is such a sweet guy. He has a tender soul. There have been a few things that have happened in the past few weeks that confirm this:

The night we got here Cambria realized that we forgot her blanket. Much crying ensued. (which is kind of funny,  because she has never been attached, but since Corbin likes his, she has started liking hers) Anyway... she was crying because she needed her blanket. We had an extra fleece blanket that we had brought up from the car and I tried to give her that one. She wouldn't have it. Well all the while Corbin was sitting next to her cuddling with his blanket. Without a second thought he handed Cambria his blanket (which was softer than the one we were trying to give Cambria) and grabbed the one fleece one. I was so shocked. He is so sweet, amiright?

There have been a few other times that Cambria has thrown a fit for one reason or another (Corbin sitting on the chair that she always sits on, Corbin being handed the cup that she wanted) and after noticing how upset she is he just gives her what she wants.

It just blows me away that a one and a half year old can be so in tune with others emotions and do something to make them feel better!

He is just so sweet! I'm grateful that he is part of our family.
I don't think clothes get much cuter than this. Oh, and the boy is adorable too!

holding his little cousin, Lochlan

Playing with Merek, his cousin who is closest in age to him.

365 Gratitude Day 156

Today I'm grateful for the Spirit that I felt in the temple. I'm grateful for the way that I receive revelation. It's so perfect for me.

365 gratitude day 155

Yay for fantastic days!!! I'm so grateful for all the good things that happened today!! When Jonathan came home he was greeted by a wife with a genuine smile and who was dancing in the kitchen. It felt so good to have a good day today!

365 Gratitude day 154

Today I'm so grateful for the Priesthood. I have been having a few weeks of consecutive bad days. Jonathan offered on Sunday to give me a blessing of peace. I told him that I just got a blessing, and I felt like I didn't need one. Well today was particularly bad, and during our couple's prayer I had the feeling to ask for a blessing. I did and I was so filled! I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father, and that He knows me so well.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

365 Gratitude day 151, 152, 153

151: holy cow! Being a mom is hard! I'm grateful for good moments, moments when the kids play nicely together, or when they freely give. I'm grateful for moments of laughter. It gets me through.

152: I'm grateful for how many resources there are in big cities. We went to the free singing class again today I hope this turns into a place where I can meet mom friends. But if not, it's fun for the kids to get out and sing.

153:  today I'm grateful for singing! I went to my first voice lesson. I think I'm going to like having something to focus on while I'm here.

What I've learned in Minnesota

I have been looking at living here for the summer as a time to try new things out.

The first thing I wanted to try here had to do with toys. I have never really loved the idea of toys that make noise. I thought I was pretty careful about the noisy toys we acquired, but by the time we were ready to move, I feel like all the kids did all day was push buttons and watch the lights blink. So I decided I wasn't going to bring any toys that made noise. Oh what a relief! I love watching them use their imaginations! I think this is going to be something we take home with us.

I also didn't bring too many toys, the reason I didn't was two fold: one, because we didn't have a ton of room in the van. And two, because if we didn't have a lot to play with inside, we would have to go somewhere to find entertainment.

Which leads me to my next thing I wanted to try out. Getting out every day. We have been really good at it! I think we have gotten out every day, and it makes all the difference! Our days seem a lot shorter (in a good way) and we are getting to know the area so much more quickly.

I have also made it a point to do something fun with the whole family every weekend. This has been so fun, I'm a little worried about what is going to happen when we go back home and dive into crazy-dissertation-writing-time. I guess we will still do fun stuff, just without daddy, since he will be busy.

Here are some fun pictures from our adventures the past few weeks.

first of all, can we just talk about this girl's hair for a sec.... 

 Minnehaha falls. It was such a fun park!
 Corbin found these cool bikes... too bad he wasn't big enough to ride them...
 Daddy is such a good sport! It was only about 65 degrees, but he took off his shoes and played in the water with the kids because they wanted to. What a guy!!
 we took a little walk down to the bottom of the falls. It's so beautiful!!

 We ended the day with ice cream. It's always a good day if you end it with ice cream!
 Memorial day: we went to a splash pad! We left early because the kids were ready and we wanted to go in the morning (since we never know how much time we will have in the afternoon... with naps, sometimes the kids wake up too late to do anything)
It was only about 75 degrees (it warmed up later in the day) so I didn't get too wet, but Jonathan didn't mind the cold water, so he and Cambria had a good time. Jonathan got the most wet... for sure! 
This was Corbin's happy place. In the shade, dry, and eating snacks. 
I caught Cambria reading library books to Corbin. So sweet! 
This last weekend we went to a free zoo! It was pretty amazing considering it was free. 
Cambria and Corbin were trying to decide where to start 
Cambria: admiring the pink birds. She does love pink :) 
Corbin loved the spider monkeys!

Another thing I'm trying out here is to do one dinner a week that is mainly veggies. I figure a diet with more veggies doesn't hurt anyone, and if I can feel better, and have more energy by doing so, then there's nothing to loose!

 we ran out of spinach, so we decided to make a carrot smoothy! It actually was really good.
This is our baked veggie burgers. They were delicious. I think I might tweak the recipe a bit next time, but they were a hit (between me and Jonathan... the kids don't eat dinner... 
The experts say that you shouldn't make a separate meal for your kids, so we don't. They also say that they will learn to eat what we eat... well our kids just choose to go hungry more nights than not. *sigh* maybes someday they will learn)

Sunday, June 5, 2016

365 gratitude day 150

I'm grateful for people who get out of their comfort zone to talk to me. A nice lady talked to me during relief society and it made me feel so much more like I belonged.

365 gratitude day 145, 146, 147, 148, 149

145: I'm grateful that I got to go to my first voice lesson. My voice teacher is very knowledgeable, I'm nit sure if we are an awesome fit, but I'm so grateful that I get to do this this summer!

146: I'm grateful that I got to know some other moms in my ward today. They had playgroup and I had a really good time.

147: I'm grateful that the girl who got my number (Kate) invited me to the park today. I've gotten out every day this week and I'm sure it has helped my mood and the kids mood. I've still had several bad days in a row, but it would have been much worse if I didn't get out.

148: I'm so grateful for Jonathan. He is my pillar, I need a pillar in my life... I'm so up and down and over and around... I need someone to keep me on the ground when my head is either in the clouds or 10 feet under.

149: today was fun! We cleaned the church, and then we went to the zoo after naps. It was good to spend some time together.

Monday, May 30, 2016

365 gratitude day 142, 143, & 144

142: I'm grateful for the fun memories we made today! We went to a waterfall and walked around. I'm grateful that Jonathan is willing to be a kid with our kids. He got in the river with them even though it was in the mid 60's.
143: I'm grateful that we met some fun people at church. One girl asked for my number and we are going to have a play date this week. I have been hoping for a friend, so I'm grateful for her!
144: first of all, I'm so grateful for all those people who have sacrificed their lives so that I can live so comfortably now. I'm also grateful for Danae. I have thought about her today (as it is memorial day). I'm grateful for her love of life, and her love for everyone. She impacted everyone she met, even though she was almost 10 years younger than me, she made me feel loved.
I'm grateful that Jonathan didn't go into work today, and that we played hard again today. He makes our outings so fun!

Saturday, May 28, 2016

365 gratitude day 141

I'm grateful that my day ended better than it started. I'm grateful that Jonathan was around when he was.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

365 gratitude day 140

Today I'm grateful for the realization that things that are with having won't come easy.

It was a bit lonely today; I went to a very busy park by myself with the kids and I felt like I was alone in a crowded place. After that I just felt like because of these few days by myself, I'm going to cherish the friendships I do make here.

It is also forcing me to be a real adult and take this summer by the horns and make something fun out of these 12 weeks.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

365 gratitude day 137, 138 & 139

137: I'm grateful that I followed the prompting to introduce myself to the family upstairs. I heard little footsteps running around, and it made me feel so much better about living here.

138: I'm grateful that the same family (Samatha, Honest, and Sage) went to the park with us. It feels so good to know someone else needs a friend just as much as I do.

139: I'm grateful that I am starting to understand my limits, and sometimes I can do preventive things to help with my mood. I'm also really grateful that I found a voice teacher!!!! I can't wait to start!

Sunday, May 22, 2016

365 gratitude day 131-136

What a whirlwind these last few weeks have been!

After I got home from Florida, we had three days to pack and clean and be off to Madison to visit James and Sadie for a few days then move to Minneapolis! We are here now and in our new place.

There's so much to be grateful for. I'm grateful that General mills took care of housing out here. That took a huge load off our shoulders. I'm grateful for how much Jonathan just powers through and gets stuff done. I'm grateful that we have renters in our house over the summer. I'm grateful that all the crazy things that happened, happened before we left (internet stopped working, minor van fix, electrical problems with the house, plumbing issues). I would feel really bad if all that happened when our renters moved in.
I'm grateful for the beautiful weather that we drove through. I'm grateful that there was a BYU alum General mills barbeque the day we moved in, so we didn't have to stress about dinner.

Monday, May 16, 2016

365 gratitude day 126-130

Wow, I'm falling behind again. But what matters is that I'm catching up now.

I've been in Florida Friday, Saturday Sunday and I came home today. They're are so many things I'm grateful for in regards to that:

I'm grateful that I made such a deep friendship with someone that I have a desire to make a trip out to see them. I'm grateful that I found good deals on activities, I'm grateful that the Lord answered my prayers (even though it wasn't a big deal at all) and sent some dolphins into the bay when we were paddle boarding. I'm grateful for Jonathan willingness to do extra plasma to pay for the trip, I'm grateful that he was willing to take care of the kids so I could have a much needed break. I'm grateful that Dave took care of their kids so Megan could spend so much time with me. ... I could go on...

I'm also grateful that Jonathan works so hard all the time. He did a lot to get the house ready for us to move in a few days.

365 gratitude day 124

I'm grateful for wise counsel from a bishop

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

365 gratitude day 123

Today I'm grateful for how sustained I was. Corbin literally didn't stop crying or whining for 4 hours (with maybe an hour long nap in between). Usually I would be a big ball of stress, but I just took everything in stride and let the stress roll off my shoulder.

I know that I received some extra help, and I'm grateful for that.

Monday, May 9, 2016

365 gratitude day 122

Today I'm grateful for the great day it has been emotionally. I was able to do all that I wanted to (within reason) and I was able to take care of stressful situations without being stressed.

I can't help but feel like this is who I really am, not this emotional rollercoaster of a woman... I hope to get my emotions within a normal range soon.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

365 gratitude day 121

Today I had the chance to think about all my sisters and sister-in-laws who are mothers and think about something that I admire in their parenting. I truly am surrounded by amazing women in my family.

We all parent differently, but you know what? We are all trying our best, and that's all that matters.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

365 gratitude day 120

I'm so grateful that I'm a mom. I have been taking this blessing for granted for a long time. Jonathan reminded me how painful this weekend was 5 years ago. Now it's not.

I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for granting me the desires of my heart, even though he knew I would forget that motherhood is a blessing... as hard as it is... it's still a blessing.

You know what they say, those things that are most valuable, rarely come easily.

Friday, May 6, 2016

365 gratitude day 119

I'm so grateful that we were able to go to the temple today even though we planned it way last minute! I'm grateful for friends who are willing to watch our kids, and I'm grateful that we weren't rushed. It was nice to just walk around the temple grounds, soaking up the Spirit there before entering the temple.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

365 gratitude day 118

I'm grateful that Jonathan is working hard to clean up our house to get ready to move. I decided to take on a sewing project (silly me) and its taking me away from cleaning too. So I'm thankful for him.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

365 gratitude day 117

I'm grateful that the Spirit helped me hold my tongue when I wanted to lose my temper. I managed to not yell at all, even though I was close several times.

365 gratitude day 115 & 116

115: I'm grateful for opportunities to share life experiences with friends. That's how friendships deepen in my book.

116: I'm grateful for my mom. No matter how bad of a day I'm having she somehow turns my mood around. Always.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

365 gratitude day 113, & 114

113: today was my anniversary. I'm so gratefu for Jonathan. He works do hard for our family, and for me. He works hard at work, and then comes home and works hard to help me.
114: I'm grateful for fasting. The last two times I have fasted have been very spiritual experiences. I went in a walk with the kids today and I felt like revelation was just pouring into my mind. I feel like I received answers so clearly. Now I just need to have the motivation to follow through.

Friday, April 29, 2016

365 gratitude day 112

Today I'm grateful for the validation of the Spirit that I am enough.

After reading a blog post, that if read by an emotionally stable me, would have been inspiring (but I wasn't in the best of places, so it turned into an intimidating blog post) I hung my head and started feeling belittled, and not good enough. Then I very clearly felt the Spirit whisper to me "you are good enough. You are not [this blogger mom]. Heavenly Father sent your kid to you because they need you, not her. You are enough" which is just what I needed to hear.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

365 gratitude day 111

Today I'm grateful for inspiration. We made our decision about who to rent our home to for the summer. We ended up going with the second family that contacted us.
The first was a man and a woman who were co workers, not married, but not in a relationship... they were just going to be roommates. They both had an internship here and the days lined up perfectly with the dates that we were going th be gone.
The second was a family from Utah, who are coming here for grad school in the fall and want to find a home to buy, so they want a place to sub lease till they find a home.

As Jonathan and I prayed about it we felt like we should respect our home as a dedicated place, and if we have the option to have someone there who is going to keep it a place where the Spirit can dwell, then that's the best option.

I'm grateful for what the Spirit can teach us. I hadn't thought about that before we prayed about it.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

365 gratitude day 110

Today I'm so grateful that we felt inspired to put an ad out on craigslist to sub lease our house.

Within 24 hours of the ad being up we had two really great potential people contact us. It feels so good to know that our we can help someone who really needs a housing option for the summer (also moving for a summer internship).

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

365 gratitude day 109 and thoughts from therapy

So I went to a therapist today. I'm grateful for the people who showed concern for me enough to say something.

The take home message? Sometimes untreated postpartum lasts a long time. I'm going to see my midwife on Thursday to talk about options for treating what I thought was PMS, but maybe it's postpartum depression.

There are types of energy that we are drawn to, just like there are types of food we are drawn to. So try to figure out what type of people put off that energy, and what types of social interactions have that energy do that I can fill up on the right tips of energy.

Journaling is more than just sitting down the good. Writing down the bad and the ugly can be therapeutic. Maybe start a journal that's not for posterity, what you can write real life down (the negative stuff, a place to get all the junk of your chest that you don't want to have preserved)... and when it's full, throw it away.

Write letters of encouragement to yourself on good days, then read them on bad days. You know what you need to hear better than anyone else, so write it down and let yourself hear it from the one who knows best how to say it.

Monday, April 25, 2016

365 gratitude day 108

Today I'm grateful for sunshine. It was a beautiful day and we spent a good amount of time outside. I'm grateful for prefect weather!

Sunday, April 24, 2016

365 gratitude day 105 106 & 107

105: today was my birthday and I'm overwhelmed by how many people did really nice things. Sadie bought me a CD we talked about on our trip, my visiting teacher brought by some chocolate, another friend invited me over for lunch (double bonus for her because she filled my need for social interaction, and made it so I didn't have to make my own lunch... I hate making lunch), Megan sent me flowers... I'm sure I'm forgetting something. That's not even mentioning the many texts, phone calls, and Facebook posts... I felt very loved!

AND....! Jonathan gave me a weekend getaway to Orlando, just me, to visit Megan! That was the best gift I've ever gotten! And let's not forget the amazing dinner he made for me, and then didn't let me clean up our put the kids to bed.

106: I'm still pinching myself, I really can't believe I get to go to Orlando all by myself!

I'm also really grateful that we got some good, solid cleaning done today.

107: I'm grateful for the special relationship we have with the missionaries (with Jonathan being the ward mission leader). We had both sets over for dinner, and it's just great to have such spiritual people over. They left our home a little brighter today.