Monday, September 29, 2014

This and that

I have so much on my mind that I am going to start with the mini blog posts that I have written in my head.

Corbin's got talent
So when we change Corbin's diaper, we find that it is beneficial to cover certain body parts to avoid being hit in the face, his or ours. Well the other night, Jonathan was changing his diaper and had him covered. He managed to go around or through the covering and spray himself in the face, and pee all over our sheets. That night he also spit up all over our sheets and pooped outside of the diaper (thankfully he didn't poop past the changing mat that he had down).

Gimme Gimme
I have a friend from Western (where I got my Associates) who played Millie in our production of Thoroughly Modern Millie. This week she posted a video of her performing the song "Gimme Gimme" from the show, a performance she did this week. Well... I have been singing it. all. week. long. I have been itching to perform for a long time. The itch has gotten stronger as time passes. Having a Broadway song stuck in my head 24/7 hasn't helped much.

Big girl potty

Cambria has started taking interest in what happens on the potty. We decided to get her a little seat that goes on our toilet. We got it right before she started pooping as soon as we put her in her crib. Literally! She would poop every day right before her nap consistently for a week. I was thinking she might be doing it on purpose so that she could delay nap time. So we have started putting her on the potty. She doesn't get the concept yet, but she likes sitting there.
I almost caught a poop the other day! I saw her pooping, so I ripped the poopy diaper off of her and sat her on the toilet. We sat there for a good few minutes. Nothin'. So I put a fresh diaper on her, and within minutes it was poopy... boo.
How do you know when a toddler is ready to be potty trained? I don't want to say "ok, this is the weekend I'm going to potty train her", I don't think that is very effective.

Social Butterfly
I know that I am a social butterfly, but after I have a new baby I think my need for social interaction dramatically increases. I'm doing great, emotions-wise, thankfully(!) but my day often needs to start with either sunshine or social interaction, preferably both.

Fall is on it's way!
I absolutely love Midwest Falls! They are amazing and they last FOREVER! Fall is officailly on it's way. I saw the first signs of changing leaves the day before Corbin was born, and I have been anticipating the changing leaves ever since! I can't wait. I also ate my first pumpkin product (pumpkin cookies. Thanks Elisabeth!), so that must mean that fall is here!
Jonathan sometimes gets Starbucks giftcards for free. This week he brought home two; I have been dreaming about a (milk based) pumpkin frappuccino ever since! mmmmm!

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Cambria is sweet

Cambria is such a sweet heart! Two experiences from the past few days show this perfectly.

Yesterday, Corbin cried the hardest he had in his life, and Cambee just happened to be in the room. After I calmed him down a bit she came up to him and got close and said "hi" as if she was trying to make him smile.

Today, she got into my prenatal vitamins, and potentially ate a few (she is ok). After realizing the potential seriousness of the situation, I lost it.  As I was crying she was happy playing. When she saw that I was crying she stopped, and did the same thing; got close and said "hi".

I can't help but think that if that is what she is doing with her limited understanding and vocabulary, what is she going to do when she is older? I'm so grateful for her sweetness.

Monday, September 22, 2014


I need to be better at taking pictures, so maybe if I post the ones I have, I'll do better at taking more :)

 When my grandparents were in town we took a walk around campus. This was the first time Cambee experienced the fountains. She loved it!

 This is the last monthly growing picture I will probably take of Cambria. 18 months!

 Aren't they just so cute?
 Yes, this is me in labor... I know I'm only eating a Popsicle, but I wanted to post this to show how coherent I was. I even thought about taking pictures! I did get to eat real food too, and it was amazing!
 Excited to be in the tub! Too bad it didn't last too long...
 Our newest addition!
 Look at his ear. This is one of the first things we noticed, they were big and floppy. Apparently they were so floppy because he was so early. The cartilage in his ear hadn't fully developed yet. They are a lot less floppy now :)

 Us with Ann, my midwife, who was AMAZING!
 our alert boy!
 Our first family picture!
 She loves her brother! 

 look at those eyes! I don't know if you can tell but they are brown on the inside and blue on the outside! Beautiful!!

 my boys!
 I love that he grabs the edges of our collars. So cute!
 I forgot to get a "first moment" picture, so I got one before we left the hospital. You don't quite get the "moment" look, but that's ok. I'm still in the gown, and I'm still not ready for the day. Does that count?
 The reason why we had to stay for a few extra days. His biliruben levels were too high for comfort. I'll have to blog about that later.
So cute! She wanted to hold him!
 I just love this face!
 She was helping to feed him till the camera came out!
I don't know how to turn these pictures. They were right side up when I added them...
 love this one!

 Look at those eyes!!

 Our first outing, Target. She's so cute!!
 Sweet kisses!

LOVE this picture! If you look closely you can see who she is trying to kiss.
wha??? Why are these upside down?

Oh the joy of boxes!

just ceasing cute moments!

So sweet!
We are missing one... she was sleeping
First bath!
He was so alert and chill for so long after his first bath!
Family of 4!
My cute drowsy man!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Taking what I can get

Corbin had a hard time nursing after the first time. He just wouldn't open his mouth! I would try and try, and then get worried that he wasn't getting enough. For some reason, this pregnancy I worried that nursing wouldn't happen and I would need to supplement, so I was even more worried about it.

One nurse I talked to told me this "since you have such a young baby (meaning he was pre-term) you have to take what you can get, and not worry about the rest". Everyone reassured me that nursing would get easier the closer to 40 weeks gestation he would get. That one piece of advice has helped me a lot! It has kind of been my theme for my recovery.

I will nurse him and if he decides to sleep through the feeding, then I'll pump and give it to him through a bottle. No biggy.

I can try to make dinner, and if I make it; awesome! If not, that's ok.

I can play with Cambria when I have opportunites to, and if I need to let Corbin cry for a minute so I can spend time with Cambria, that's ok. I'll take my happy toddler while she lasts, and not stress that my baby is crying.

If Cambria decides to scream just to hear herself scream, I can ignore it and then give her attention when she isn't.

If I get one load of laundry done but the rest of the house is a mess, I'll take it.

If I read my scriptures at night, right before I go to bed instead of reading them in the morning... At least I read them. And I can feel good about making time, even if it's just a little time.

So far, this new theme of my life right now is working really well for me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Corbin's Birthing Story

I woke up early in the morning, probably around 1:15 after maybe an hour of sleep (this pregnancy, I have had a really really hard time falling asleep. It’s not uncommon for it to take me 2 hours to fall asleep) and I felt kind of wet. It turns out that my water broke! When I woke Jonathan up, and told him that I thought my water broke he just sat there with a really confused look on his face. He just sat there blinking, with is brow furrowed, saying “ok… ok…” over and over. haha! I told him that I was planning on calling the midwife and that he should probably get ready to go; to which he responded “don’t you think you should wait? Labor hasn’t started yet, right? Don’t you want to wait ‘til you start labor?” I told him that when a woman’s water breaks it’s a different story. Then he got out of bed, and woke up a little.

I called the midwives and a nurse called back saying that Ann was in a delivery, and she would relay the message. I told her what happened and she told me to come in.

After that, I called Megan Monk, and she said that she would hurry over. Before Megan got there, I asked Jonathan for a blessing. I don’t remember much of what was said except that he blessed my body, he said “your body was made to give birth”. That gave me a lot of comfort because I have been concerned about a C-section this whole pregnancy, and especially with my water breaking, I was concerned that I might have to have one.

When Megan came over, Jonathan and I started packing our bags, it was kind of funny because we really didn’t know what we should pack. We remembered packing a lot of things last time, and only using maybe half of the stuff, but we couldn’t remember what stuff we used. We just kept walking around the house saying “what should we pack?” while throwing stuff in our backpacks.

This time I really wanted to use my Hypnobabies techniques, so I took the time to go in my room and turn on my light switch. This basically means I put myself in hypnosis so that I would be more primed and ready for when contractions started. I was feeling really calm throughout the whole process, and I was kind of surprised that I wasn’t feeling very intense feelings in either extreme. I wasn’t feeling crazy excited, or really nervous.

We had to get one last pregnancy picture!
Not the best picture in the whole world, but you see the excitement on my face, and the bigness of my belly ;)

As we drove over, I listened to a hypno track, it basically gives positive affirmations about what is coming up ahead. When we walked into the emergency room (that’s where you check in at this hospital) we got all set up and then a nurse came to take me to Labor and Delivery. She asked if I wanted a wheel chair, and I said I would prefer to walk. Jonathan said something to the effect of, “what? You are in labor and given the opportunity to be driven somewhere and you want to walk?” I responded “I feel like I wet my pants, I don’t want to sit in it too!”

 When I got up to Labor and Delivery, I met my midwife, Ann. I had only met her once before because I decided mid pregnancy to switch doctors and hospitals. Not because I was unhappy with the other hospital or my OBGYN, I just wanted to try laboring in a tub and the hospital I was at didn’t offer that, and my OB was only able to work at the one hospital.

Ann had been at the hospital all night, she had already delivered two babies by the time I got there at 3:00 AM. I told her that I wanted a tub, and she said that when things started progressing she would get it set up for me. She said that if things weren’t kicked into gear now, she wasn’t in a hurry to start them. So she suggested sleeping till about 5:00 or 6:00 because it could be a long day. I lay down but didn’t get much sleep because I was thinking about the upcoming events. I was feeling pretty eager to get things going, I wouldn’t say that I was really excited, that’s not the right word, but I was anticipating the upcoming events and was looking forward to labor. Jonathan fell right to sleep, by about 5:30 I couldn’t lay around anymore.

We got Ann, and she suggested pumping, walking around and even tried aroma therapy to get things going. All of those things got them going, but didn’t keep them going; so most of the day I would have sporadic contractions at best. The best thing about this labor was that Ann let me eat! She even encouraged me to eat, so I ordered food from the cafeteria and ate all day! It was so wonderful!!

I got checked at 11:00 and had only progressed to a 3. The contractions were manageable so Jonathan worked on his computer a lot and I was on pinterest and doing other things to try to occupy myself. It was so weird! Such a difference from Cambria’s labor. It was a blessing that I didn’t need Jonathan focused with me the whole day because he had a lot of deadlines and work that he needed to do. He tried to front load a lot of his projects so that by the time late September rolled around, he would be able to relax and help take care of me and Cambria.

About this time, my nurse came in and told me that the tubs were both being used! I was so sad! I had told them first thing that I wanted one, and they told me I could have one… I was so bummed! I was especially bummed because I was sure that I was there before they got to the hospital… if it was first come first served than I should have gotten a tub! My only hope was that the other moms that had the tubs would hurry, and I could get it after they were done.

By about 3:00pm Ann checked me again and I had progressed to almost a 5. She stretched my cervix in hopes to get things going. That for sure got things going, but it didn’t last long. It amazed me how different labor could be from baby to baby! With Cambria, I went to the hospital and I was at a 5, and I could manage my contractions on my own. But with Corbin, by the time I was at a 5, the contractions were intense! They were harder to manage on my own, and I preferred Jonathan to help me through.

By this point in the day I was still able to carry on a conversation because my contractions were still inconsistent. This (being able to talk) is actually something I wanted out of this labor. It was nice to be able to be more coherent. I had some good conversations with the nurses and also with Jonathan.

All this continued till about 7:00, if I were in the shower my contractions came consistently 5 minutes apart, but if I got out and especially if I laid down, they would slow down to about once every 10 minutes. So when I was being monitored, they would slow down. At this point I asked Ann what I needed to do to get the tub set up, I knew that the other moms were done with them and they were just sitting in the hall again. She said that my contractions needed to be regular. I responded that they were coming every 5 minutes in the shower, and had been for at least an hour. Then she said that she wanted me to be progressed to at least a 5. I told her that I was almost a 5 when she checked me at 3:00. She had forgotten, and then said that she would double check with the OB she was under and get back to me. When she came back, she said that her OB was getting impatient, because I was getting close to 18 hours of labor, which is when they really start getting worried about infection for both me and the baby. So she told me that they would give me an hour in the tub, and if I hadn’t progressed significantly, then I would have to start up on Pitocin. So they set up the tub (which takes about a half hour) and I got in the shower because that is where I was able to manage my contractions best. Still at this point, if Jonathan needed to do something I was able to work through them by myself, but when he helped and they were much more manageable… but I was able to do it if I needed to.

Then the tub was finally ready! I was so excited to get in! When I had a contraction in the tub it wasn’t all I thought it would be. I couldn’t relax on my own, and I needed Jonathan to help me. After I “woke up” from my contraction, I told Jonathan that I felt really bad, but that I didn’t like being in the tub. It wasn’t as affective as the shower was. I felt so bad! I had been asking for the tub all day, and I even switched hospitals for the tubs! So I gave it two more contractions, and it didn’t get any better. I knew that they were going to get more intense, so I figured I should just go where I was able to relax the most. I worried about what Ann and the nurses would think, but then I remembered that women are aloud to be crazy and irrational in labor… So I got back in the shower and Ann moved the ball in the shower and that helped even more! Within 20 minutes in the shower I told Jonathan that I thought I needed to push. It was weird because I only kind of felt the urge, not like last time (last time they had to tell me to stop pushing so the doc could get there)… So Jonathan went to find Ann and said “I’m only the messenger, but Melissa says that she wants to push”, at that very moment she was writing in her notes that I wasn’t progressing very much, and my contractions were still only 5 minutes apart! Hah! I thought that was ironic!

When she came in and checked me, she said that I was about an 8, but my cervix was really soft and I would probably be ready to go as soon as she set her stuff up. That was good to hear, then when she asked me where I wanted to deliver this baby I said “right here!” She told me that we would have to turn the water off, and then after hearing that I told her I didn’t want to be there. She said she was going to get her stuff while I decided where I wanted to be. I turned to Jonathan and said “I want to be on my hands and knees” and he relayed the message. When I walked into the room, the bed was propped up so that I could lean against the back of it and be on my knees. Ann put her stuff where it needed to be and then said “Melissa, you know what you are doing. You know what your body needs, so I’m not going to say anything”. What a relief! That’s exactly what I wanted to hear! Even at this point, my contractions were still about 5 minutes apart! It was really nice because I needed that time to relax and regroup before the next contraction. It was so quite that I wasn’t sure if it was just Jonathan and I in the room, so I turned around and saw Ann there, just waiting. I said to her “please help me, I really don’t want to tear, so can you protect my perineum?” She said that she would, and that was that! As the contractions came, Jonathan reminded me to relax, and let things happen. I knew that I didn’t need to push, because Cambria was born so quickly and I tore so bad! So I just tried my best to relax and let my body do what it needed to do. I definitely felt some intense stretching and at one point I just wanted to be done, because I was feeling so much pressure, but it didn’t last long. This time, the baby came out of my birth canal really slowly and it was amazing! As soon as he was out, he was crying! It was the best sound I had ever heard! His little cry was so adorable! I felt so many intense emotions the next few minutes! I still didn’t cry (just like with Cambria) but I was so in love! I just kept looking at Jonathan, and kissing our son’s head! I didn’t see his face for a little while because of the way I was holding him, he was just so tiny and his head was down, when I lifted his head and looked at his face I just lost it (still no crying, but so much emotion). He was so beautiful, I was so incredibly in love! Then he peed on me J, I didn’t even care! He was amazing, and I was holding my son. Corbin William Kershaw.