Monday, March 28, 2016

365 gratitude day 93

I have a new nephew! His name is Lochlan (Amy and Tony's newest baby). I'm so grateful that mommy and baby are doing great. There is something about new babies that makes me want to be more pure, and strive to be more clean.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

365 gratitude day 92

I'm so grateful for Easter! I'm grateful that we have holidays to break up the routine and help us refocus.

I'm also grateful for people in the ward that make help us feel a little less far from home. If we didn't have such a great support system in the ward, holidays like this would be really easy to wish we were somewhere else.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

365 gratitude day 91

Today Jonathan gave Corbin a blessing because he has a bad fever. In it he said that tomorrow is a remembrance of the most important day in history. That was such a wake up call for me. I hope to make Easter a bigger deal next year, and to teach the significance more.

I'm so grateful that the Savior overcame death, and that through Him, we can all live again!

Friday, March 25, 2016

365 gratitude day 90

Today I'm grateful for free dental work. There is s dental hygiene school in town, and this is the first time Jonathan had gotten his teeth checked in about 8 years. It's only been two years for me.

I'm grateful that we are being so well taken care of during grad school. The Lord is mindful of us.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

365 gratitude day 89

Today I'm grateful for supportive friends. Someone responded to my hormones post and rocked my world, so I reached out to a few friends and they were all so supportive and encouraging.

I'm grateful for them.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

365 gratitude day 88

*so 88 is one of my favorite numbers... fun fact*

Today was a gorgeous day! I opened the windows and let all the fresh air in! It was glorious! I'm grateful for fresh air.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Thoughts on hormones

After I got my motherhood to a manageable place I have started noticing a pattern in my life.

I usually have a few weeks and a few days of anywhere from good days to great days when it comes to my emotions and my ability to cope with the emotions of my kids. Then I have a couple monster days; days that I feel like a 13 year old girl and I can't cope with any sort of behavior (mine or anyone else's), let alone toddler behavior. Those days are full of rolling my eyes, sarcasm, screaming/yelling, bossing people around, and running to my room and slamming the door. Doesn't that sound like a hormonal teenager?!? Then my emotional state swings up from there and I'm either in a grumpy-but-ok state or sometimes I'm lucky and I'm feeling a little more normal. Then my period starts and the first three days of my period I'm back to my monster days.

Are you catching my drift? When this first started happening, I had no idea what was going on and I was wondering if I had some sort of imbalance. Let's not forget that it had been about 3 1/2 years since I have had a normal cycle of hormones running through my body. Also let's remember that it hasn't been that long that I feel like I got my motherhood to a manageable place. But then my visiting teacher came over and started talking to me about her current struggle with understanding how her hormones affect her. Then I light bulb went off: maybe it's hormones!!!

So let's fast forward to right now. I do believe that my hormones are playing a factor into my emotional state. Hormones affect me during pregnancy and postpartum, so there's no reason why they wouldn't be doing the same thing to me on a monthly basis (yay womanhood!). But here is my dilemma: how much should I buy into the "hormone theory" (for a lack of a better term) and how much should I allow that to explain away my emotions, reactions, and actions.

I came from a home where we didn't talk about hormones. I didn't even know what PMS was until my junior or senior year in high school. I remember one time I tried to tell my mom that I was PMS-ing and she told me (in not so many words) that PMS is made up, it's just something that women use as an excuse to be rude. ... so obviously some women out there don't use hormones for an excuse for anything...

But then I have a friend (who is a busy mom and has lots of kids) who says that she doesn't do anything the week that she is PMS-ing. Laundry doesn't get done, housework... etc. She says that this is what her and her husband have agreed to because she says she DESTROYS relationships if she tries to do anything while she is PMS-ing.

ok, so I have two ends of the spectrum here... both people I love and have a lot of respect for. Both perspectives work for each person. But where do I stand?

I know that hormones are a real thing, and that it's been proven that PMS is real. But so is hunger. And yet, we as Latter Day Saints refrain from eating two consecutive meals, among other reasons, to show Heavenly Father that we can have control over our bodies. So do I just prepare for it, and know that I'm going to be a little more on edge? In a perfect world, yes. But in a perfect world I also wouldn't ever loose my temper... so it's obviously not a perfect world yet, unfortunately.

Anyway. I don't have an answer, but I wanted to blog about it in hopes to organize my thoughts. I wouldn't mind hearing your opinions/what has helped you deal with your hormones, as long as the comments stay respectful, and recognize that my struggle is real, and slightly tender (I am on my period, after all ;) ).

365 Gratitude Day 84, 85, 86, and 87

84: I had a hot date tonight! We celebrated our anniversary early this year. Newsies! the broadway show came to Indy, so we had to jump at that chance to go see it. We got a babysitter to watch the kids and went out to P.F. Changs for one of the best meals I have had in a long time. Then we went to the show. It was absolutely amazing! I was blown away at the dancing and athletic ability of all those boys! It was crazy!!!

Anyway... I'm grateful so much that dates like this are possible (thanks to donating plasma and mystery shopping). And I'm grateful that our relationship is in a place that dates are fun, refreshing, relaxing and that they revitalize our relationship.

85: I'm grateful that we had a special stake meeting again. A member of the presiding bishopric was in town, and out of all the stakes he could have chosen he decided to come to our stake. I'm grateful for the impressions I got: that I need to gain a stronger testimony of the scriptures, that I need to make more of an effort to keep the Sabbath day holy, and that I need to recognize my importance as a woman of the gospel.

86: I'm so grateful for our kids relationship. Today Cambria started crying for some reason (I don't remember why) and Corbin came up and started rubbing her back and putting his head on her shoulder. It was so cute! On Saturday, Corbin started loosing it when we were getting ready to go. We had asked Cambria to be our helper and to help Corbin feel happy when we left. As soon as he started crying she went over and gave him a hug and was still holding him when we left. They have such a sweet relationship. Although it's often hard to have the kids so close in age, it's moments like this that give me hope that the way we planned (and how it worked out) was the right way.

87: I'm grateful that Jonathan is willing to take over kid duty when I have bad days.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Picture dump

I don't get on my lap top much anymore, and the blogger app makes it really hard to post pictures. So basically, now that I'm on my computer I'm just going to post lots of pictures :)

(Back in December) We went to the bank for some reason, and Corbin found the glass.

(December) As I was trying out my new gel manicure set Cambria wanted to cure her nail polish with my light.

(December) my Christmas manicure

Cambria's Christmas manicure

This is their first introduction to White Christmas. Cambria watched till the very last scene, I was pretty impressed.

(December) We decided to do something fun during the break and went to open gym at a local gymnastics place.

Cambria's interpretation of the picture on the wall (it was all her idea)

We decided to finger paint on New Years Eve.

this was after our family slide show on New Years Eve, we didn't have egg nog during the Christmastime, so we couldn't let it pass without having some. Cambria loved it.

the whole family, after we threw confetti to ring in the new year!

this was all dad's idea, and it turned out to be really fun, and not too much of a mess to clean up!

Shhhh, don't tell the kids that we rung in the new year at 7:15...

New Years kisses

(January) Cambria built that tower almost all by herself. I was pretty impressed.

(January) we visited the preschool that Cambria is going to go to in the fall and she found the paint. She loved it!!!
(January) Corbin LOVES anyone smaller than himself. This little girl came over and he wouldn't leave her alone! He was rubbing her back in this picture

 This is us trying to install our washer and dryer, we paid someone to deduct and move the electrical so that we could have a stack-able washer and dryer! It was quite the tight squeeze to get the duct work connected. More often than not, it was the blind leading the blind, I couldn't see on the side next to the wall, and Jonathan couldn't see on the other side (while he was on top of the water heater). But we made it, thanks to special tape... the clamps were a joke, but the tape saved our lives!

This is such a great form of entertainment!

this is my first attempt at baking suger cookies and doing royal icing... not too bad if I do say so myself.

Happy Valentines day from the Kershaws!

Cambria wanted Corbin to sit on the potty with her, so I got brave and took his diaper off. 

"Oh, y'know... just me with my satchel."

I watched some friends, and they all decided to line their pottys up and go potty a the same time.

trying on hats. Isn't he just so cute!?

I had so much fun doing 1930's hair and makeup!

Cambria and a friend (Hazel) decided to get into pajamas
 Mom told me that she needed an update picture of the two kids together. "just put a sheet up and sit them down and take some pictures" it sounded easy enough...
first picture: not bad, but Corbin wasn't smiling. Lets try another one.

good, but not looking at me.

wait, we lost one...

me: "can you get back up on the couch?"
Corbin: "silly mom, that would make your job easy..."

me: "smile Corbin"
... silly me, I didn't ask him to stay... he was smiling...

"take that out of your mouth"

what if we all get together, could we get a good one? Almost, except you can see that I'm frustrated...

She found a ring pop, she was so excited!!

The sister missionaries stopped by and let Cambria wear a name tag... she was on cloud nine!

Corbin has started playing on the floor on his belly, it's the cutest thing!

James and Sadie surprised me at my show! They took the trip down to see me! These are the only pictures I got of them here... I'm horrible, I know.
But... again, Corbin is in heaven, he has a small baby to play with. Cousin Tanner wasn't too excited about the interaction.

 March 15 is free ice cream day at Dairy Queen, so we went. It was a hit.
Notice how Cambria eats her ice cream...

... and how that differs from Corbin... (haha!)

Cambria was by far the slowest. She just likes to enjoy every bite...

Corbin got stuck :)

I have been doing better at exercising constantly. As I was stretching Cambria started stretching with me. She bent over and touched her head to the ground, no problem. ... Jealous.

Cambria has all of the sudden become really interested in spelling things (thanks to Arilyn, I think). She asked me how to spell Evelyn (a friend) and Arilyn (her cousin). I told her the letters, and she found them and put them in order, with very little help from me. This girl never ceases to amaze me. She is a sponge, just ready to learn in so many ways.