I'm grateful that when I'm at my wits end, I can strap the kids in the stroller and go for a walk. I'm grateful that they sit so I can think abut something besides correcting them.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
I'm grateful that I was sustained today! Jonathan had to work late tonight, so I was gearing up to do a full days work, dinner and bedtime included. I was doing so well at 6:00 (which I'm usually very done by then) and then Jonathan said that he was done, so we picked him up.
I'm grateful that the Lord answered my prayers. I asked to be sustained, and to enjoy today. Which I did.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Monday, September 26, 2016
Today was the start of something new. I had a little shift in how I saw my role as a mother, and tried to live accordingly. I'm grateful that I stayed calm the majority of the day today. I'm not going to dwell on the fact that I got overwhelmed at the end. I made it 9 hours out of the 10 hours Jonathan was gone. That's a win.
I'm also grateful that I had that positive thought. That doesn't come naturally these days... So I know that wasn't me, and I'm grateful for the intervention.
Sunday, September 25, 2016
I'm grateful for self reflection. I'm grateful for the realization that the frustrations I was feeling in my relationships were mainly my fault.
I'm also grateful that self reflection doesn't always end in self degradation. Today I almost went there, but I didn't. And I'm grateful for the help I received so that I didn't go there.
I'm grateful for the realization today that I don't have to dwell in my bad moods. Today I made a conscious effort to get over myself. And it worked! I had a rough morning, but my day turned around after I let stuff go and forced myself to enjoy something. Then a good day just followed nicely.
You are now two and you are such a joy! You are such a happy boy, and I can tell you have a zeal for life. I am remembering the first part of your life and you were such a sad baby. I can't help but realize how uncomfortable you must have been, now that I know your disposition (You had such horrible acid reflux, you would spit up so much and you often were sad as you were digesting your food as well). You would often calm down when I held you, and that is still true. You still love to be held. I'm trying to get used to not carrying you all the time because you are getting heavier, and pretty soon I'll have someone else who will need to be held a little more than you. I have a feeling you are going to love your little sibling, and you are going to be so sweet with him/her. (I'm not going to mention that I'm also worried that you might have a harder time adjusting to not being the youngest...)
Corbin, you really love to see people happy. You love to be with happy people, and you love to make people laugh. My favorite thing that you do (and that gets me every time) is you get right in my face and make the cheasiest smile you can manage. You scrunch up your eyes and smile as big as you can. It makes me laugh, which then makes you laugh, and then you do it again! I love it!
Corbin, you are also such a giving person. There are times when you know for a fact that Cambria really wants what you have (**cough** when she throws a major fit) and you gladly hand her what she wants. There are no strings attached, you just hand it over and find something else to do. Seeing a toddler do that is really surprising, and I can only imagine how selfless you really are. I'm excited to see you grow up into the selfless person that's in your character.
You are a major climber. There really isn't anywhere that's about 4 feet or below that you can't get to. You figure out a way to get what you want. You are a master chair-pusher, and you have discovered a whole new world that is on top of the counter, and what's in the freezer. Thankfully you don't climb on the counter yet, but you like to reach what's on there.
Corbin, I'm so grateful that you are part of our family. You are such a loving guy, and your cuddles fill my soul. I love you buddy!
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
I'm grateful for visiting teaching. My visiting teacher came over and shared the message on parenting. A few things I learned (or was reminded) "never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved".
I also learned that I'm not alone in my feelings of frustration and inadequacy.
Another thing I realized is that Jonathan spends far less time with the kids than I do. But (let's say) we both get frustrated with the kids half the time we are with them. He is going to be frustrated a far less amount of time than I am. But that's not a reason to think I'm way worse of a parent than him. We both get frustrated half the time, my time is just way longer than his. So I'm not a worse parent. (That's the take home message, just in case you got lost in all that. We are both good)
That made me feel much better.
Monday, September 19, 2016
I'm grateful that Corbin's potty training experience has gone so well. I was really nervous to start because Cambria's was such a long road. I should know by now that they are different people and even though they need to learn the same skills, the way they go about it is going to be a completely different journey.
Corbin was totally ready, and I'm so grateful that it's gone well thus far.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Saturday, September 17, 2016
Today I'm grateful for good books. I'm reading the sequel to a book I finished right before I left for Utah. It's called longing for home. It's so good. It feels good to have an escape they isn't mindless and pointless like all of my other escapes.
Jonathan felt baby move for the first time last night. I know, it seems really early for even me to feel them, but we both felt a kick at the same time!
This pregnancy has been such an easy ride (aside from the initial stress when I started bleeding) and it has been easy to forget that I am pregnant. Now that I can feel movement I feel like things are going to feel real pretty quick. And if baby is on my mind more, I will probably connect with baby more (which is something I've felt like I've missed out on with the pregnancy being so easy.)
I'm excited! Pregnancy is so exciting!
Friday, September 16, 2016
I'm grateful for opportunities to serve. I'm not the best at giving service. I "watched someone else's kids" but we really just stayed at her house and made sure everyone stayed safe and relatively happy. I need to be better at taking control, and not waiting around for someone else to.
I'm grateful that I had a good chat with a friend today. Linsey is such a great example of what a good friend is. I've said it before, but she is equally friendly to all, which doesn't come naturally to me. I tend to hang around people who are friendly to me, and are similar to me. I also tend to find a friend I click with and stay choose to her... Linsey makes everyone feel like an equally close friend.
There's a lot I can learn from her.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Today was a better emotional day. I stayed on top of my emotions and didn't fly off the handle as much as I have in the previous few days. I'm so grateful for lighter days (as opposed to the dark ones I've been in) which help me see that I'm not the person I act like sometimes.
Monday, September 12, 2016
Sunday, September 11, 2016
I'm grateful that I was able to spend some time with Catherine Picon tonight. She just had a baby (at 35 weeks) because she just found out that she has a brain tumor, and they needed to get the baby out so she can have surgery.
I'm grateful for her honesty, and faith, which gives me strength. She has always been an example to me, and this experience is no different.
Saturday, September 10, 2016
I'm grateful that I didn't have two rock bottom days in a row. Yesterday was horrible. One of the worst days I've had in a long time, maybe even ever. It was pretty bad. But today was awesome. I spent some quality time with Cambria, which doesn't happen as much as it should. And I went to a ward social and got some genuine social interaction.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
I'm grateful that I have an outlet to perform. A few ladies in my ward get together and all perform music. Today I sang "home" from beauty and the beast, that song has always moved me, but today was the first time I've performed it. I totally started crying. It felt good to feel something real while performing. Although, my singing wasn't that great... but I knew my performing was on point.
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
I'm so grateful for supportive friends. I have felt inspired to change the way I eat. To try to eat more veggies, and fruits, and try to keep my snacks closer to just whole food.
Today I met with a few friends who have been eating this way for a while and had some good pointers and tips to get started. This is a very daunting lifestyle switch, especially since I don't like vegetables. So it's nice to have friends who can help me out.
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Sunday, September 4, 2016
Today during fast and testimony meeting I had a realization. Like I said in my last post, I've had some minor bleeding associated with my pregnancy. Throughout the bleeding (aside from the first time I started bleeding) I have felt very calm. That is usually not the case, usually I am very nervous for most of the time. I recognize that this is the Lord sustaining me.
I felt very strongly when we were thinking about getting pregnant that the Lord told me to trust Him. I was worried because I don't feel like I have it all together, in fact, I feel very much the opposite.
I realized today, though, that He is sustaining me for putting my faith in Him. My life isn't easy, my burdens aren't made so light that I can't feel them, but they are lighter. They are heavy enough for me to gain some spiritual muscles, but they aren't debilitating. And I think they could be, so I thank Him for that.
And I'm thankful for that realization today.
I've told my immediate family, and I've announced it on Facebook, so now it's time to make it blog official too.
We are expecting our third baby in February! I am 15 weeks along and feeling great. I have had a little bleeding, but I'm starting to realize that's just normal for me. I've gone to the doctor a few times and baby is growing nicely. We feel very blessed, and nervous to be planning for another baby!