Closing Funnies

Sometimes you can tell when someone has been doing their job for a while. Especially when it involves saying the same thing day-in and day-out. Like telemarketers (or inbound/outbound calling people, I did surveys and said the same. thing. every. day.) they get a certain tone of voice.  Sometimes if they are really good, they can have an entire conversation between questions/explanations.

The person that was helping with our closing was this way. At first it was just her tone of voice, and then the two Realtor's started talking about some crazy thing that happened on the news. Then we started getting explanations like the following:

Closing lady (in her telemarketer voice): This page talks about your loan, it is set at this, and after 7 years can only go up as high as this... ... bla bla bla... sign here to state you agree. (We're getting an ameratized loan because we can get the best interest rate and we're not going to own the home for longer than 7 years (hopefully).)
Closing lady (in her normal voice): no, she ran into her house, she was trying to run someone over!
(Without missing a beat, as soon as we were done signing she was back to her telemarketer voice) This next page is a graph of how much of what you are paying is interest (in this column) and principle (in this column) ... bla bla bla... sign here
Closing lady (in her normal voice): No it was her husband's girlfriend! He was having an affair, so the wife tried to run the girlfriend over!
(Again without missing a beat, as soon as we were done signing she was back to her telemarketer voice) This next page explains... bla bla bla... sign here
Closing lady (in her normal voice): She was so wasted that after she ran into the house she climbed into her back seat and passed out. The cops couldn't get her out!

You get the jist. It was quite funny! It didn't even slow us down, she was that good. Some of you may think that's so unprofessional. But I didn't mind one bit, we were all being quite casual and they (the closing lady, and the two female Realtor's) seamed to be good friends.

It's definitely a story to go with our first time closing on a house!