It's Undeniable

Heavenly Father is in the details of my life. He cares deeply, and is making Himself manifest in so many areas of my life.

He has been in every step of our journey, and we have really noticed it in the last few months. I don't want to make this post too long, so I'm going to bullet point a few things:

• Jonathan got an internship with General Mills last summer, the company that he thought he wanted to work for ever since he started in Food Science. 
• As we were there we thought we were going to end up there (I was looking at schools, housing, wards... the whole bit). But then we found out about a position opening up at BYU. Academia was never part of the plan, or on our radar. As we prayed about staying at General Mills, each one of us independently felt like we needed to try for BYU.
• When we came back home to Indiana, and made it a serious matter of prayer and thought about how that would happen logistically. We were a little nervous to turn down a great opportunity for the hope of something coming into fruition later. 
• As Jonathan thought about it, he knew he didn't want to continue down the current research path he was on, but didn't know what else would be interesting enough to make a career out of. As he prayed about it, thoughts and inspiration came flooding to his mind, thoughts of research topics that he hadn't thought about before. 
• If he wanted to switch research fields, then the need for a post-doc was essential. But graduating in May and potentially starting in August didn't leave much time. Then the thought came to try to defend his dissertation as early as possible and get a short term post-doc. 
• As he looked into post-doc positions at other schools, he felt like he should ask a recently hired Purdue faculty (doing research in the field he was interested in) for recommendations of good places to apply, and if doing a flexible post-doc was even an option. She basically offered him a position on the spot.
• Jonathan got an interview with BYU, even though there were many qualified candidates that applied (we were told by a few BYU faculty).
• He felt good about how the interview went. 
• Fast-forward to February 2017. I was due with Aveya on the 23, Jonathan originally planned to defend in the middle of the month, but some of his committee members couldn't make it, so they rescheduled for February 21! That turned out to be a blessing, because Aveya came on the 13. I was recovered enough to go to his defense (something I REALLY wanted to do).
• There were some amazing miracles and tender mercies associated with Aveya's birth. Things ranging from saying a silent prayer on Saturday night (Feb 11), just complaining a bit... "I really don't want to deal with being pregnant and this hip pain for another two weeks. If it's not going to be too crazy for Jonathan, can I have this baby early?" then starting contractions within minutes of that prayer... to being able to teach gospel doctrine by myself through my contractions, to all the help I had through my slow c-section recovery, to my kids not being jealous of Aveya... to the miracles of modern medicine, that although Aveya was sideways, she was born healthy and safely, and I was safe as well. 
• We have been struggling with this 2 year long phase Cambria has been in. She's been so defiant, and hard to parent (to not delve into too many things). I've really struggled with controlling my temper and trying to find ways to get through to her. Any parenting strategy that we have tried seemed to not work. But we got so many answers during General Conference (people keep telling us that we need to be more firm, but as I try that, I find it puts me in a bad place, and it isn't effective. But I felt overwhelmed by all the talks about treating people with love. Love is always the answer). We also started reading a parenting book that has been really awesome! As we have applied the little that we've read, it seems to be working! And it's in line with the things we heard and felt in General Conference!
• I have gotten into a motherhood rut, but with some sincere begging in prayer, I have had a few wonderful moments with each kid. I've had better days this week than I've had in a very long time. The enabling power of the atonement is real! And that's a miracle! 

As we wait to hear back from BYU (we won't hear back till May at the earliest), sometimes I get impatient, ok, most times. But after this weekend, and realigning my perspective, I know that it will turn out the way that it's supposed to. Heavenly Father has a plan, and he has been guiding us in undeniable ways.

365 Grateful day 16

Today was a middle of the road day. Not too many crazy "ups" or "downs". I'm super grateful for the not too many downs. :)

I still felt the lingering sadness (or the weight on my chest)... still trying to decide if I have depression or not, but I just stated and restated my new mantra: no big deal. ...It helps!

For example: I walk in the kitchen, from struggling with Cambria in a different room, to find Corbin sitting in a puddle of spilled milk from the cereal bowl. It's all over the table, the chair and my freshly mopped floor. I usually would roll my eyes and say "are you kidding me!?" And then blow everything out if the water... but if I repeat my mantra instead, I say "no big deal" and take the literally 30 seconds it takes to wipe it up and say "there. All better" and I'm not overly emotional... which is better for all who are in the house.

365 grateful day 10

Today was a challenging day. I was ready to throw the towel in by noon. I told Jonathan that I needed a break when he got home, and the minute he got home, he asked me what he should do. I told him I wanted to escape for a few hours. He said that was fine. So I did absolutely nothing productive, and window shopped in the home decor section at Gordmans.

It was exactly what I needed today. I think I might sound like a broken record, but seriously, this guy of mine... he's pretty great.

365 grateful day 9

I'm grateful for tender moments. Both that I get to witness, and that I get to participate in. Today Jonathan read Cambria some bedtime stories. For the last book, Cambria laid down and asked Jonathan to as well. It was so sweet watching them read together, I will have a mental snapshot of that moment for a long time.

Jonathan is such a great dad, I'm so grateful for that too.

I'm so blessed.

365Gratitude day 8

I'm grateful for the inspiration of the Spirit. Today I turned a fun lesson into a spiritual one simply by following a small prompting.

I was prompted on things I need to do to be better, and I feel like the kids felt something that helped them see the scriptures in a different light.

I'm grateful for those simple promptings.

365 grateful day 8

This week I have become obsessed researching washers and dryers. We have a set that works fine, but the washer is in the house and the dryer it's in the garage. It's not a big deal, but it would be nice to have them in the same location. So I have been searching craigslist to find a stackable. But I need a TINY stackable because our space is so small.

Well last night we did some looking and had a list if options in Indy and surrounding areas. But then, our babysitter fell through, so we decided that I would go by myself.

This morning as I was making final calls, all the options kept falling through (either I couldn't get a hold of them, or the unit was to big). We decided to put it off for a week and see what prospects we had. As a last ditch effort, I contacted a guy I had been in contact with earlier this week to get a little more info on the set I was looking at. He texted back and I felt like there was no reason not to go get them. So we drove the hour long trip one way with the kids in tow and had a good time doing it! Then we met the guy and he was so friendly! After looking them over we pulled out the $300 to pay for them (which is a steal in and if itself, for a stackable front load) and he said "just give me $260, you've got little ones, and every bit counts with them."

It was a small act of kindness, but one we are so grateful for! With two little ones, and being in grad school... every, EVERY little bit counts.

We felt like there was no denying the guidance from Heavenly Father today.

365 grateful day 6 and 7

Yesterday, I was grateful that Jonathan thought to make new years eve fun. That was probably one of the most memorable parties I've been too!

Today I'm thankful that we had some friends come over. They stayed for a long time and I was so filled by having them come. I'm a text-book extrovert. I love being with people, the more the better!

365 grateful day 5

Today I'm grateful for how much Jonathan thinks about me first. Tonight he asked me which kid I wanted to help with bedtime. There is usually someone who is much easier to help... give him a bottle, change his bum, and put his jammies on.
Jonathan doesn't just say he wants to take Corbin, but he always asks me first. He does that with everything, and I appreciate it!

What a guy! He's great!

Gratitude 365

I saw a YouTube video about a lady who was feeling depressed and went to a psychologist and they said that gratitude will change the way you see life. So she started a project, gratitude 365, where she finds something to be grateful for every day for a year.

I felt inspired, I kind of did that last year, but it didn't last all year. I have been feeling like I need a pick-me-up, so I'm going to try it. I was planning on starting at the new year, but after saying that my gift to the Savior was to be more grateful, it only makes sense to start it now.

December 26: I'm grateful for days that Jonathan and I work together. Today we cracked down and organized our toys, and it feels so much better! I also feel so much more connected to him when we do stuff like that.

Grateful for Skype

Last week, my cousin facebooked me out of the blue and asked for some ideas for Relief Society activities (because oddly enough, we both have the same calling at church). I told her it would be easiest for me to Skype and tell them to her.
We talked today. She lives in Canada, and I haven't spent time with her for probably 4 years. She has two kids (3 and almost 1), and obviously has had some major changes in her life since the last time we hung out. It was so fun to see her, and meet her kids and catch up.
I hope it becomes a regular thing that we do. Modern technology is so wonderful, it's so easy to keep in touch with those we love.

Miracles Happen

** does anyone else read that title and have the song pop into their heads (the one that is on Princess Diary's?)**

So I wanted to document this amazing experience I had the other day. I was shopping at Walmart and I put my keys in the cart so that Cambria could play with them (she is getting to the stage where the cart is so much more interesting than the seat up top...). After several hours of shopping, I finally checked out, as I was doing that I noticed that my key fob was on the floor (Miracle #1). I thought oh, that's random, I'm glad I saw that fall off. That would be a bad thing to loose. I picked it up and didn't think to look at my keys to see why it fell off. Cambria was starting to get anxious to get home so I was hurrying out of the store. When we got all the groceries put in our van I grabbed my lanyard and looked at the key ring... this is what I saw:

My stomach immediately dropped. Where are my keys? Cambria saw my face and said "mommy?" (she is so in tune with my emotions... it's kind of crazy!) I said "Cambria, where are mommy's keys?" I looked at the cart, and they weren't in there. They could be anywhere! So I called Jonathan and he picked up (miracle #2) and I told him my situation and he said that he was on his way to drop off his key so we could get home (miracle #3, he was available to come up). I said a prayer and started tracing my steps. As I was looking around where I checked out the bagger asked if I needed anything. I told them my situation and she said that I should talk to customer service. I did that and nothing was turned in. I left my phone number and a description of my keys then kept tracing my steps. As I started doing this my fussy, tired baby (Corbin) fell asleep in the cart (miracle #4) and Cambria was happy to go throug the store again, even though she was just asking to go home (#5). I literally retraced every step I took (all the while Cambria was saying "Where keys? A-bye-bye", too cute) but I wasn't crazy anxious (#6) and I asked every worker I saw if they had seen my keys. After retracing every step Jonathan was with me and helping me load the kids in the car. When he handed me his key I got a phone call. It was customer service; they found my keys (#7)! And, I hadn't left yet, so I could still run in and grab them (#8) and Jonathan hadn't left yet, so he could stay with the kids while I ran in (#9). When I came to pick them up, this was the condition of my key ring:

Not a single key had fallen off, even though it would have been so easy for all of them to be off (#10).

Coincidence? I think not!

This was such a testimony builder that after everything we can do the Lord will make up the rest. I literally did all within my power to find them, and after I did that, my keys were found. 

And I was able to teach Cambria about prayer, and how much Heavenly Father is aware of our needs.

Journaling

As I was surfing Pinterest the other day I saw an idea to start a "Victory Journal". It's basically a way for you to record small victories daily. I thought it was a good idea, then I remembered the advice given in General Conference (by President Eyring) to have a gratitude journal.
I'm sad to say that the Pinterest idea made me want to start a journal and not the advice given by an apostle of the Lord. In my defense, I thought the advice given by President Eyring was great, and I wanted to try it out but I didn't feel like I was in a stage of life to do it at the time. Now that I have given up on trying to write in a Journal on my computer daily (it just doesn't happen... I want to add too much detail, so it takes too long to be sustainable); I have decided that I need a new approach. This is it (along with trying to blog a little more frequently, and in shorter, less overwhelming posts).
I have started making a bulleted list of blessings that happen throughout the day. It's quick, easy, and it helps me feel the Spirit more strongly. It also helps me be more grateful and think more positively before I say my night time prayers.

Corbin's Newborn shots

We are so blessed to have family who sends us monetary gifts, and friends who are amazing photographers!
Thanks Grandma F., and Jessica J. We LOVE these pictures! I'm going to do my best to choose my favorite photos and not overload this post.

I love this half smile! He does this all the time. I think it's so cute, and for some reason it seems so boy-ish to me. So cute!

I love that he's also smiling! We have the same smile :)

Kissy faces!

Love this one!

I have a picture almost identical with Cambria like this... Apparently this is where I hold all my babies

Love!

Ya! I'm cool!

Love!!

Love!!

I hope you enjoyed! I certainly did :)

Warmth!

Cambria and I got out of the house today to do some shopping. It was so nice to not have to worry about my baby's face freezing from the walk from the car to the store! I didn't even put her coat on!

It made me very excited for spring, even though I know it's a long way away.

Thankful day 28

Day 28: I'm truly so grateful for the Gospel! We went to Jonathan's professor's house today and there were so many little things that the gospel helps with. For example, at the dinner table, we had an awkward pause at the beginning of the meal because we felt a need to give thanks, but the family doesn't pray... so we kind of started with a toast. There were a lot of other things too, I'm just so grateful for how the gospel is such a great part of my life.

Thankful Days 21-27

Day 21: I'm grateful for my calling in church. I get to plan parties every month! It doesn't get much better than this! I really like the people I work with, and it's a good experience to be the leader. I'm told I have the ability to be a good leader, so I need the practice so I can learn now.

Day 22: I'm grateful for reminders to repent. I'm SO GRATEFUL that we are able to repent. The atonement is awesome. I'm so grateful that we get little nudges we receive to help us improve.

Day 23: I'm so grateful for girls. I love spending time with my hubby, but sometimes just spending a day with a friend who is a girl is good for the sole. Especially when that girl is Sadie. She's just so fun to be around, and I look up to her a lot.

Day 24: I'm grateful for good food. Today was a busy day, but we were able to make some yummy food with some friends and it made the fact that I hardly saw Jonathan ok. I had a lot to look forward to, and we had some fun conversations over dinner. I'm grateful for the friendships I have created here. I don't quite feel like I have a bosom friend yet. I must say, that I'm feeling the need for one, but I do feel like I'm getting there with a few people.

Day 25: going off of day 22. Today was such a great day! It was a new beginning for me and I'm so grateful that we can have new beginnings. I'm grateful that although we have messed up in the past, it doesn't have to affect our future.

Day 26: I'm grateful for opportunities to serve. I'm grateful for examples of people to follow. I was able to serve someone today who really needed it, and she was so gracious about it and made it seem like a big deal. It totally wasn't. I need to be more like her, and I'm grateful for her example.

Day 27: Wow! People are so giving! I have received a lot today. I'm grateful for people's generosity.

Thankful Days 17-20

Day 17: I'm so thankful that we were safe during a tornado warning today. I'm so grateful that it happened while we were at church. I felt so much more safe and not to mention informed while we were there.

Day 18: I'm so thankful for friends who were willing to let me stay in their warm house while our power was out today. I'm also thankful for a gas stove that allowed us to still cook even though we didn't have power. I'm also thankful for another friend who had a generator and kept our frozen food cold and out of the danger zone temperatures (PS. Happy 9 month birthday to the Miss)

Day 19: I'm thankful that I was able to make so much food today. I spent a lot of money buying food today (I'm also thankful that we have the means to serve people and to buy the food we need/want), and then I spent the rest of the day cooking it. I had a good time, and I'm thankful that I have been able to serve

Day 20: I'm thankful for well child check up's at the doctor's office. I like going and having time to ask the dr questions about my baby's development. I also like hearing that she's on track.

catch-up thankfulness

Day 14: I'm thankful that Cambria slept for 4 hours! during her nap today so that I could rake the leaves and clean out our front gardens.

Day 15: I'm thankful that I have a husband who will help me with craft projects! Two of the six chairs are now covered and they are SO CUTE!!! (pictures to come...)

Day 16: I'm thankful for doughnuts. I'm thankful that I'm having our traditional doughnut night tonight, and that Jonathan is pro-traditions. I'm thankful that I grew up in a house where traditions were done regularly to help me realize just how crucial they are in a family life.

Thankful Day 13

Today I'm thankful for hobbies. I have so many hobbies that I don't know what to focus on. Well, I have so many things I'm interested in that I don't know what to with.

I'm glad that I can have things that I enjoy working on/doing, and that give me a mental break from mommyhood.

Thankful day 12

Today I'm thankful for our house! It snowed today and I didn't have to scrape the snow/ice off my windshield! Wahoo!! I'm so grateful that we have a place to call our own, that fits our needs very nicely. I'm so grateful for all of the modern conveniences we enjoy. I love our washer and dryer, I love our dishwasher, I love our heater, I love our forced air, I love that I don't have to worry about the upstairs/downstairs/wall sharing neighbors when Cambria screams!