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I'm grateful that I was able to take the kids trick-or-treating! It was fun to see the reactions of the people at the door. Cambria was so excited to see houses with lights on (I told her that's how we knew if we could knock on their door) and Corbin had a good time walking with us. There were several times he happily babbled as we went from house to house.

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I'm grateful that our lesson went well. I'm not sure if I mentioned that I was called as a gospel doctrine team teacher with Jonathan, but today was our first lesson together.

It went well, and a few people told me some good things about our lesson. So that felt good!

I'm also grateful that Jonathan and I had a good conversation about where we might want to end up. We have applied for a professor job at BYU, but don't necessarily feel like we are going to get it. So today we talked about the future; it felt good to hear how he feels about things, and tell him how I feel about things.

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I'm grateful that we had fun celebrating Halloween. We went to a small dinner party, and then trunk-or-treating right afterwards. It's fun that Cambria is old enough to really start getting into holidays.

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Today was full of getting in and out of the car. But today we were running fun errands! We went to the park, and the library, and to aerobics(not in that order). I'm grateful that we were able to go places the kids liked going.

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I'm grateful that we don't have to go through this life without help. Along with divine guidance, there are a lot of people who have devoted a lot of time and energy into helping people.

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I'm grateful that the rain didn't start really coming down hard till I had all the groceries in the van. I forgot to grab the reusable bags out of my trunk when we went to aldi today. So I was loading my groceries into my bags in the parking lot. As soon as I was done, the rain started coming down more than just a sprinkle. It's a little thing, but I was grateful for it today.

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I'm grateful for progress in daily tasks. We have a MOUNTAIN of clean laundry. I finally sorted and put away about half of it. It feels so good to have lots of it gone.

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I'm grateful for the inspiration that Jonathan received to give the kids blessings today.
We talked about the priesthood for family home evening, and then Jonathan gave Cambria and Corbin blessings. It was so special to see how they understood the sacredness of what was going on. The spirit was strong, and they loved it.
We have been really struggling to think of ways to help Cambria learn to obey and be respectful. One thought Jonathan had was to do this. I would love it if it helped!

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I'm grateful for this calling I have as a teacher! In preparation for our lesson next Sunday, I've studied the scriptures in more depth than I have in a very long time! I'm excited to learn from the scriptures, and grow to truly love them.

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Today I witnessed Cambria and Corbin's relationship blossom. I'm so glad they are starting to have good moments together.

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Today I'm grateful that Cambria and I worked together on a few things. It felt good to have her next to me, working with me. We made liquid soap out of a bar of soap, and hot chocolate mix... because, why not?

My fuse was a little short today right from the get-go, but I was still able to have productive moments. I'm grateful for that too.

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Today I'm grateful for good days. There are lots of little things that I'm grateful for. All those little things added up to a good day.

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Today I'm grateful for k-love. I had it on in the van as I picked up Cambria from preschool. Long-story short: she had a MAJOR meltdown. We are talking 25 minutes of straight screaming or crying. She refused to keep the door closed in the van and getting her in the car seat was out of the question. Do there were plenty of awkward onlookers (some who didn't make eye contact and I could tell were thinking "hurry, get to where I'm going. Don't look" some who approached me and asked if they could help)
I'm proud to say that I didn't scream at her. I took the other extreme and cried through the whole ordeal because I didn't know what to do, and I was beyond stressed. After an angel helper came and asked if she could help, then didn't take no for an answer, Cambria calmed down and buckled up.

As I drove away, still stressed beyond belief and crying, the song sparrows came on the radio. By the time it was over, my breathing was a little more normal and I wasn't crying as hard. I'm grateful for the peace that I felt for those three minutes when I desperately needed it.

Girl confirmed!

I had a midwife appointment yesterday and asked if they could double check my baby's gender since it was so unclear during the ultrasound. (They have a handheld device, so it wasn't like I was asking for another ultrasound).

The midwife came in and tried. She checked and baby had her legs crossed, like a proper girl. She said she couldn't get the right angle, so she grabbed the tech on duty. The tech tried with the little machine and then said "this is pointless! Come into the ultrasound room"! I was so excited!  She moved and wiggled the wand and eventually she said "oh! I see girl parts!"

That was that! I feel so much better knowing for sure! 

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I'm grateful for the Lord's help today in keeping my goal to put my phone away when the kids were around. Considering how much I'm on it regularly, this was a miracle.

I'm grateful for the connections I didn't miss out on because I was present.

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Today I'm grateful for a friend asking me to go on a walk with her. This fall has been absolutely beautifully warm. But for one reason or another I just stay inside. So it was great to get out this morning.

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Cambria felt Aveya kick today! I'm grateful for wonderful moments like that!

Did we decide on a name?

This pregnancy has been so different in so many ways. One of which has been baby names. As soon as I knew I was pregnant, I felt like if this baby was a girl, this baby was going to be Aveya (as long as Jonathan didn't veto it). I'll have to write a different post about the history of the name.
When I was in Utah, I was talking to Amy (my sister) about boy names, and she mentioned she loved the name Declan, but couldn't ever get Tony on board. So I asked her if I could use it. I immediately texted Jonathan and he didn't hate it if the bat! That is huge!

I mentioned to him later that if baby was a boy, I thought "Hinckley"would be an seating middle name. Declan Hinckley, doesn't that sound amazing?

Long story short, we had a girl and boy name that we were both ok with long before we knew the gender of our baby.

Well... today we had "the talk" and we both feel like there's no reason to keep calling this baby "baby", or even "baby girl" so we started calling her Aveya. As long as it really doesn't feel right, that's probably her name!! Things just got real over here!

So baby girl is probably Aveya Leanne. (Leanne is both mine and my mom's middle name, and we are both the second daughters... it's just too perfect to pass up)

Danae

Today marks 5 years after my cousins death. She is such a light, and we had a relationship despite our age gap. I felt loved by her, and I miss her.

She was killed in a car accident, and she was 14. Cambria is her name sake and I think of her often when I say Cambria's name. I hope Cambee can love like Nae.

Love you Nae, I'm grateful that I know where you are, and that you aren't far.

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I'm grateful for the friendships I was able to strengthen by having our annual doughnut night. I'm grateful for Jonathan's help in keeping traditions alive. I'm grateful that this is such a fun one. And I'm excited for next year, where hopefully, Cambria can help a little more in the prep work.

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I'm grateful that I was able to go with a group of moms to the temple today. The women around me are inspiring in a lot of ways. I'm grateful for good examples around me.

Therapy

Just thought I should put it out there that I started seeing a therapist last week. Today was my second session with her. She is really good, and helping me recognize things that I didn't connect before.

I started seeing her for my anxiety/depressive episodes, but she has mostly been helping me try to deal with/recognize my emotions and not get to overwhelmed with my kids. Which I think is so wise, since that's when the episodes happen, right after I lose it with my kids.

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I'm grateful that Jonathan asked me to help him look over his cover letter for a job he is applying for. We both really want the job, so it felt good to do something to help him prepare.

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Today I got to be an extra in a commercial for a dentist in my ward. I'm grateful for opportunities to get out of the house and interact with other adults.

I met some other people from the stake and had done good conversations. And now I feel rejuvenated.

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I'm grateful for the mom conference. It's a fee online conference where experts are interviewed and give advice for moms. Today I watched an interview with dr. Laura and her parenting philosophy made a lot of sense. I want to check it her books at the library and read more about her parenting philosophy. She has a website that I plan to check out: ahaparenting.com

(Jessica, Jonathan and I both listened and thought of you since you were asking about positive parenting. Her program seems a little more up all of our alleys then positive parenting. FYI)

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While in a rather large emotional funk tonight, I put Corbin to bed. As I was singing him songs, he was humming along with me. I realized that I enjoyed that moment and made myself smile, which then brought the feeling of joy that I needed.

I'm grateful for good moments amidst the dark ones. Especially when they involve my kids, I love feeling joy with them.

Turning a corner?

Last time we had normal church, Corbin walked into nursery without looking back. Today he did the same thing! He has had the hardest transition into nursery ever! I'm just do grateful for fantastic nursery leaders, who take it all in stride!

This week Cambria asked to try some salad with raspberry vinaigrette. Not only that but she ate most if it! It hasn't happened again, but it's a step in the right direction. We might just get our kids to eat dinner some day (they don't eat anything... they refuse to try new things, and unless it's plain rice or plain noodles, we might as well forget making something for them. We are doing what the experts suggest... they say someday they will learn... someday...)

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Today I'm grateful for vulnerability. You can grow so much closer to a person when you listen to them as they open up to you.

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Today I took Cambria out on a mommy daughter date. She was beaming the whole time! There were moments I had never seen her smile so big!

We went to Starbucks and got a pumpkin spice frappuccino. (We have an endless supply of gift cards, and I really REALLY love pumpkin. Win-win.) Then we went to the library and played and read books. It was so good to get out with the focus just to have a good time with Cambria.

I'm grateful for those moments with her.

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I'm grateful for quiet moments. I watched a friend kids tonight as part of a date night swap. The way they put their oldest down (he's 3) is to sit in his room till he falls asleep. So I sat in a quiet room for about 15 minutes. The quiet calm without a phone is prefect for reflection. I'm grateful for the time I was able to do that.

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I'm so grateful for modern technology. We had our ultrasound today and I fell even more in love with the baby after seeing her little arms and face! I'm both excited and nervous to have another baby.

Is it a girl baby or a boy baby?

We found out the gender of our baby today! We wanted to do it a little differently this time, so we had the ultrasound tech text a friend, who ordered cupcakes for us. Then we ate the cupcakes and there was pink frosting in the middle!! We are going to have a girl!

... I think. The tech said that baby was being pretty modest, and kept her legs tight together the whole time. But the tech felt confident enough to tell us it was a girl. I plan on asking my midwife to check again (since they have a hand held device) just to be sure. But this baby has always felt like a girl, but I didn't want to admit to it just in case it wasn't...

We are really excited!

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I'm grateful for moments that I truly connect with Cambria. Today we went on a walk and she insisted that she walk (rather than ride in the stroller). We ended up taking about preschool, what makes her happy and sad. I almost got a glimpse of what it will be like to have a daughter that's not 3. I love her, even though she is in a super difficult stage right now.

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I'm grateful for the warmer weather. We are getting a warm streak and it's nice to open the windows in my house and to have pleasant weather to enjoy while running errands.
I'm so grateful that I'm not having to add coats, socks and shoes onto our list of things to get on before leaving the house yet. I'm loving that I don't have to do that yet.

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Today was such a good day! I was able to stay calm despite the normal craziness. I'm so grateful for good days!

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I'm grateful that Jonathan and I had such a great "family council"! We are at our wits end with Cambria. She is at such a rebellious/disobedient/defiant stage and we don't know what else to try. We prayed hard and felt like we got some good inspiration.

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I'm grateful that General conference was today! I'm grateful that I felt the Spirit strongly, and I'm grateful that the kids did so well! We were able to listen to the majority of the talks!

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I'm grateful that my bad day only lasted a few hours. I hit my super mad momma by about 11:00. Then I broke down and felt really bad, said I was sorry and prayed. Then the day was significantly better. I'm grateful for the Lord's help.