Thoughts on hormones

After I got my motherhood to a manageable place I have started noticing a pattern in my life.

I usually have a few weeks and a few days of anywhere from good days to great days when it comes to my emotions and my ability to cope with the emotions of my kids. Then I have a couple monster days; days that I feel like a 13 year old girl and I can't cope with any sort of behavior (mine or anyone else's), let alone toddler behavior. Those days are full of rolling my eyes, sarcasm, screaming/yelling, bossing people around, and running to my room and slamming the door. Doesn't that sound like a hormonal teenager?!? Then my emotional state swings up from there and I'm either in a grumpy-but-ok state or sometimes I'm lucky and I'm feeling a little more normal. Then my period starts and the first three days of my period I'm back to my monster days.

Are you catching my drift? When this first started happening, I had no idea what was going on and I was wondering if I had some sort of imbalance. Let's not forget that it had been about 3 1/2 years since I have had a normal cycle of hormones running through my body. Also let's remember that it hasn't been that long that I feel like I got my motherhood to a manageable place. But then my visiting teacher came over and started talking to me about her current struggle with understanding how her hormones affect her. Then I light bulb went off: maybe it's hormones!!!

So let's fast forward to right now. I do believe that my hormones are playing a factor into my emotional state. Hormones affect me during pregnancy and postpartum, so there's no reason why they wouldn't be doing the same thing to me on a monthly basis (yay womanhood!). But here is my dilemma: how much should I buy into the "hormone theory" (for a lack of a better term) and how much should I allow that to explain away my emotions, reactions, and actions.

I came from a home where we didn't talk about hormones. I didn't even know what PMS was until my junior or senior year in high school. I remember one time I tried to tell my mom that I was PMS-ing and she told me (in not so many words) that PMS is made up, it's just something that women use as an excuse to be rude. ... so obviously some women out there don't use hormones for an excuse for anything...

But then I have a friend (who is a busy mom and has lots of kids) who says that she doesn't do anything the week that she is PMS-ing. Laundry doesn't get done, housework... etc. She says that this is what her and her husband have agreed to because she says she DESTROYS relationships if she tries to do anything while she is PMS-ing.

ok, so I have two ends of the spectrum here... both people I love and have a lot of respect for. Both perspectives work for each person. But where do I stand?

I know that hormones are a real thing, and that it's been proven that PMS is real. But so is hunger. And yet, we as Latter Day Saints refrain from eating two consecutive meals, among other reasons, to show Heavenly Father that we can have control over our bodies. So do I just prepare for it, and know that I'm going to be a little more on edge? In a perfect world, yes. But in a perfect world I also wouldn't ever loose my temper... so it's obviously not a perfect world yet, unfortunately.

Anyway. I don't have an answer, but I wanted to blog about it in hopes to organize my thoughts. I wouldn't mind hearing your opinions/what has helped you deal with your hormones, as long as the comments stay respectful, and recognize that my struggle is real, and slightly tender (I am on my period, after all ;) ).