Grateful for Skype

Last week, my cousin facebooked me out of the blue and asked for some ideas for Relief Society activities (because oddly enough, we both have the same calling at church). I told her it would be easiest for me to Skype and tell them to her.
We talked today. She lives in Canada, and I haven't spent time with her for probably 4 years. She has two kids (3 and almost 1), and obviously has had some major changes in her life since the last time we hung out. It was so fun to see her, and meet her kids and catch up.
I hope it becomes a regular thing that we do. Modern technology is so wonderful, it's so easy to keep in touch with those we love.

Cambria is two!

Cambria,
You are finally two! I feel like you have been two for a long time (I have been saying you are almost two for a long time). But now it's legit :)

You are such a happy person. You love to be around people, you love to make them laugh and see them smile. You love to be active and you love to be played with.

You are a very sensitive person, when I am having a bad day, and show it in my body language, more often then not you will come over and look me in the eye and make sure I'm ok. If I'm crying, you get an obvious sense of concern on your face. You don't like to see Corbin cry either. You will give him toys, rock his swing or help put his binky in his mouth to help him stop crying. But on the flip side, you also don't like to be laughed at, or given firm instruction. If you sense you are being laughed at, you will get defensive and scream or start crying. We have to be careful how openly we show our approval of your cuteness (by laughing at what you do... sometimes you don't like us doing that).

You are often a good little helper. You don't mind taking things to the garbage when we ask you to. You like helping load the washer with dirty laundry, or move the hamper to the dryer (across the house to the garage). The few times we have let you help with the dishes, you have enjoyed unloading the dishwasher. It's pretty cute because after you help us if we don't give you immediate praise, you come up to us with a big smile on your face and say "cank-you!" (thank you), so that we remember to thank you for your help!

You love music, your current favorite songs are the "temple" song, "baptize" ("When I am baptized", and "Baptism") "Here we are together", "When Joseph Went to Bethlehem", "Sunbeam" and we can't forget "Let it Go" ;)

We love you so much, Cambria! You are such a joy, and we are so grateful that you are part of our family!!

Exploring some birthday gifts! She loves the food!!

Thanks for the letters! 

Adorable birthday dress

"A Puzzle!" She loves it!

I'm so glad when daddy comes home! Glad as I can be!!

Birthday play-dough fun!

As much baby Einstein as you want, just cuz it's your birthday :)

Breakfast in your pj's

Connecting with Corbin and daddy

 The rest of these pics aren't from your birthday, but are good examples of your personality.

You love to build "A towa" She did this one mostly on her own.

first puzzle!

Mommy loves having fun with your hair.

You are just starting to enjoy playing with not just along-side your friends!

Cheese!

You love dressing up!

The secret is out

I have stopped nursing Corbin. There. The secret is out. It took me a long time to be ok with saying that out loud.

I feel like the decision to stop nursing Corbin was a really hard one. And I feel like I need to explain myself every time I pull out the bottle in public. Why is it that feeding your baby is such a charged topic?

Since I feel like I need to explain, let me explain. Corbin has had reflux ever since he was born. On top of that he was cranky and seemed uncomfortable all the time. He spit up way more than Cambria did, who also had reflux, and his spit up stunk. He could rip a smelly one better than most adults, and man, did it stink! He also had eczema on his face that I couldn't get rid of. His crankyness got to a point that he was inconsolable after he ate at least once a day. I tried going off of milk for two weeks and literally on day 14, after not seeing any positive improvement I was convinced that it wasn't dairy, and moved on. 

It got to a point where I would get anxious when I fed him, and then when he would spit up and cry inconsolably and I just couldn't help but feel like I was causing him all this discomfort! It was a very emotional time, but for some reason not nursing Corbin wasn’t an option in my head. But like I said, the thought kept coming that I was causing my baby so much discomfort, and I couldn't live with that anymore. I talked to my mom about it when I was dreaming about stopping and she empowered me. She really gave me some good advice, and helped me realize that there is nothing wrong with trying formula. After all, all I was trying to do was to provide food that wasn't causing discomfort for my baby. I felt so selfish for not being willing to cut dairy out of my diet to see if that was what was causing the problem. She helped me realize that that wasn't selfish at all! 

Oh, and icing on top of this potentially-alergic-to-milk-cake. I was done nursing. Corbin was very easily distracted, but wouldn't eat under a blanket. Nursing at church was a joke. And I just felt done nursing him. I felt anxious every time he cried, worrying that I wasn't producing enough... I wanted to be able to wear normal clothes again, and not have to think about how I could wrangle what I was wearing to be able to have access to my milk supply (if you will). Aaaannndddd I realized that it had been almost 3 years since I wasn't pregnant or breastfeeding or both... I was a little burnt out. And I didn't want to be a lot burnt out for subsequent babies (not like I'm thinking about more babies right now... I'm very happy with my two babies).

I talked to a friend who has an 18 month old that she is still nursing (someone I was concerned about judging me... she obviously is very pro nursing). She gave me nothing but encouragement. She helped me see that feeding a baby is so much more than providing nourishment for your child. It's emotional, emotional for me as the mother, and him as the baby. If feeding my baby is causing me anxiety, that alone might be a good reason to consider other options. It felt so good hearing so much positive feedback!

When I prayed about stopping, I felt really good about it. The only thing holding me back was my worry about what everyone would think. Once I realized that, I decided to take the plunge and try formula feeding for a week. Oh the freedom! Oh, and by the way, Corbin did amazingly well on formula! I was worried that he was going to resist the bottle, or refuse the formula (because Cambria did... News flash! Corbin is a different person than Cambria, but that's a blog post in and of itself) but he was a champ. It seemed like his spit up issues dramatically decreased, his crazy smelly gas went away, and his eczema on the side of his face cleared up (not immediately, but eventually). 

So now, almost two months later. I feel very comfortable in my decision to stop breastfeeding. Thank you to those who may not share my view, for keeping your opinions to yourself ;) ... and thank you to those who support me in this decision in telling me that you do. It helps so much to hear from people I really admire and look up to, that they aren't judging me for not breastfeeding till my son was at least 12 months old.